The Swoop | Page 5

Charlesworth wrote:--"In this crisis I see no alternative. I shall
disappear."
Mr. Horatio Bottomley, in _John Bull_, said that there was some very
dirty and underhand work going on, and that the secret history of the
invasion would be published shortly. He himself, however, preferred
any invader, even the King of Bollygolla, to some K.C.'s he could name,
though he was fond of dear old Muir. He wanted to know why
Inspector Drew had retired.
The _Daily Express_, in a thoughtful leader, said that Free Trade
evidently meant invaders for all.
Mr. Herbert Gladstone, writing to the _Times_, pointed out that he had
let so many undesirable aliens into the country that he did not see that a
few more made much difference.
Mr. George R. Sims made eighteen puns on the names of the invading
generals in the course of one number of "Mustard and Cress."
Mr. H. G. Pelissier urged the public to look on the bright side. There
was a sun still shining in the sky. Besides, who knew that some foreign
marksman might not pot the censor?
Mr. Robert FitzSimmons offered to take on any of the invading
generals, or all of them, and if he didn't beat them it would only be
because the referee had a wife and seven small children and had asked
him as a personal favour to let himself be knocked out. He had lost
several fights that way.
The directors of the Crystal Palace wrote a circular letter to the
shareholders, pointing out that there was a good time coming. With this
addition to the public, the Palace stood a sporting chance of once more
finding itself full.
Judge Willis asked: "What is an invasion?"
Signor Scotti cabled anxiously from America (prepaid): "Stands

Scotland where it did?"
Mr. Lewis Waller wrote heroically: "How many of them are there? I
am usually good for about half a dozen. Are they assassins? I can tackle
any number of assassins."
Mr. Seymour Hicks said he hoped they would not hurt George
Edwardes.
Mr. George Edwardes said that if they injured Seymour Hicks in any
way he would never smile again.
A writer in Answers pointed out that, if all the invaders in the country
were piled in a heap, they would reach some of the way to the moon.
Far-seeing men took a gloomy view of the situation. They laid stress on
the fact that this counter-attraction was bound to hit first-class cricket
hard. For some years gates had shown a tendency to fall off, owing to
the growing popularity of golf, tennis, and other games. The desire to
see the invaders as they marched through the country must draw away
thousands who otherwise would have paid their sixpences at the
turnstiles. It was suggested that representations should be made to the
invading generals with a view to inducing them to make a small charge
to sightseers.
In sporting circles the chief interest centered on the race to London.
The papers showed the positions of the various armies each morning in
their Runners and Betting columns; six to four on the Germans was
freely offered, but found no takers.
Considerable interest was displayed in the probable behaviour of the
nine armies when they met. The situation was a curious outcome of the
modern custom of striking a deadly blow before actually declaring war.
Until the moment when the enemy were at her doors, England had
imagined that she was on terms of the most satisfactory friendship with
her neighbours. The foe had taken full advantage of this, and also of the
fact that, owing to a fit of absent-mindedness on the part of the
Government, England had no ships afloat which were not entirely

obsolete. Interviewed on the subject by representatives of the daily
papers, the Government handsomely admitted that it was perhaps in
some ways a silly thing to have done; but, they urged, you could not
think of everything. Besides, they were on the point of laying down a
_Dreadnought_, which would be ready in a very few years. Meanwhile,
the best thing the public could do was to sleep quietly in their beds. It
was Fisher's tip; and Fisher was a smart man.
And all the while the Invaders' Marathon continued.
Who would be the first to reach London?

Chapter 5
THE GERMANS REACH LONDON
The Germans had got off smartly from the mark and were fully
justifying the long odds laid upon them. That master-strategist, Prince
Otto of Saxe-Pfennig, realising that if he wished to reach the
Metropolis quickly he must not go by train, had resolved almost at once
to walk. Though hampered considerably by crowds of rustics who
gathered, gaping, at every point in the line of march, he had made good
progress. The German troops had strict