The Swoop | Page 4

the army
of Monaco had descended on Auchtermuchty, on the Firth of Clyde.
Within two minutes of this disaster, by Greenwich time, a boisterous
band of Young Turks had seized Scarborough. And, at Brighton and
Margate respectively, small but determined armies, the one of
Moroccan brigands, under Raisuli, the other of dark-skinned warriors
from the distant isle of Bollygolla, had made good their footing.
This was a very serious state of things.
Correspondents of the Daily Mail at the various points of attack had
wired such particulars as they were able. The preliminary parley at
Lllgxtplll between Prince Ping Pong Pang, the Chinese general, and
Llewellyn Evans, the leader of the Cardiff excursionists, seems to have
been impressive to a degree. The former had spoken throughout in pure
Chinese, the latter replying in rich Welsh, and the general effect, wired
the correspondent, was almost painfully exhilarating.
So sudden had been the attacks that in very few instances was there any
real resistance. The nearest approach to it appears to have been seen at
Margate.
At the time of the arrival of the black warriors which, like the other
onslaughts, took place between one and two o'clock on the afternoon of
August Bank Holiday, the sands were covered with happy revellers.

When the war canoes approached the beach, the excursionists seem to
have mistaken their occupants at first for a troupe of nigger minstrels
on an unusually magnificent scale; and it was freely noised abroad in
the crowd that they were being presented by Charles Frohmann, who
was endeavouring to revive the ancient glories of the Christy Minstrels.
Too soon, however, it was perceived that these were no harmless
Moore and Burgesses. Suspicion was aroused by the absence of banjoes
and tambourines; and when the foremost of the negroes dexterously
scalped a small boy, suspicion became certainty.
In this crisis the trippers of Margate behaved well. The Mounted
Infantry, on donkeys, headed by Uncle Bones, did much execution. The
Ladies' Tormentor Brigade harassed the enemy's flank, and a
hastily-formed band of sharp-shooters, armed with three-shies-a-penny
balls and milky cocos, undoubtedly troubled the advance guard
considerably. But superior force told. After half an hour's fighting the
excursionists fled, leaving the beach to the foe.
At Auchtermuchty and Portsmouth no obstacle, apparently, was offered
to the invaders. At Brighton the enemy were permitted to land
unharmed. Scarborough, taken utterly aback by the boyish vigour of the
Young Turks, was an easy prey; and at Yarmouth, though the Grand
Duke received a nasty slap in the face from a dexterously-thrown
bloater, the resistance appears to have been equally futile.
By tea-time on August the First, nine strongly-equipped forces were
firmly established on British soil.

Chapter 4
WHAT ENGLAND THOUGHT OF IT
Such a state of affairs, disturbing enough in itself, was rendered still
more disquieting by the fact that, except for the Boy Scouts, England's
military strength at this time was practically nil.

The abolition of the regular army had been the first step. Several causes
had contributed to this. In the first place, the Socialists had condemned
the army system as unsocial. Privates, they pointed out, were forbidden
to hob-nob with colonels, though the difference in their positions was
due to a mere accident of birth. They demanded that every man in the
army should be a general. Comrade Quelch, in an eloquent speech at
Newington Butts, had pointed, amidst enthusiasm, to the republics of
South America, where the system worked admirably.
Scotland, too, disapproved of the army, because it was professional. Mr.
Smith wrote several trenchant letters to Mr. C. J. B. Marriott on the
subject.
So the army was abolished, and the land defence of the country
entrusted entirely to the Territorials, the Legion of Frontiersmen, and
the Boy Scouts.
But first the Territorials dropped out. The strain of being referred to on
the music-hall stage as Teddy-boys was too much for them.
Then the Frontiersmen were disbanded. They had promised well at the
start, but they had never been themselves since La Milo had been
attacked by the Manchester Watch Committee. It had taken all the heart
out of them.
So that in the end England's defenders were narrowed down to the Boy
Scouts, of whom Clarence Chugwater was the pride, and a large
civilian population, prepared, at any moment, to turn out for their
country's sake and wave flags. A certain section of these, too, could
sing patriotic songs.
* * * * *
It was inevitable, in the height of the Silly Season, that such a topic as
the simultaneous invasion of Great Britain by nine foreign powers
should be seized upon by the press. Countless letters poured into the
offices of the London daily papers every morning. Space forbids more
than the gist of a few of these.

Miss