The Sorrows of a Show Girl | Page 8

cheese sandwiches. Well, I got to toddle along. The
Ladies' Auxiliary to the Anvil Chorus is going to hold a meeting in Alla
Sweenie's apartments. Was you ever one of them? Well, when those
dames get on the job and are grouped it makes Elinor Glyn's opinion of
the Pilgrim Mothers seem like words of praise. So long."

In which Sabrina receives money from an unexpected source, and
brings to light how she came to receive it and what she intends doing
when the entire sum is given her.

CHAPTER THREE

"Providence has got to throw something besides 'crap,' some time or
other," remarked Sabrina, the show girl as we complimented her upon
her new gown. "And I guess I am there with rings on my fingers and
bells on my toes, or words to that effect. Take me by the hand and lead
me to some secluded nook and I will unburden my young soul."
When we had seated ourselves and the waiter had retired for the second
time she began:
"You have been hearing me put up a plaintive plea about being on the
rocks. Well, I was. I had everything in hock but my self-respect, and I
had that ready to tuck under my shawl at a moment's notice and rush
off to Uncle Sim's. But never again for muh. I was up in my suite
wondering if I could sign checks at Child's when the landlady shoved a
letter under my door--she could have shoved a dog under just as well as
not. I dive for the epistle, thinking, perhaps, it is some word of
encouragement from Matt Grau. I tear open the envelope and pull out a
letter and out drops a piece of paper that could look like it meant
money. It's a cinch I beat it to the floor. It was a check. I staggered
against the gas stove I was so surprised; then I unfolded it and it was
made out to me. Can you beat that? To me, and in my real name, for
one hundred, count 'em, one hundred cold, hard Clearing House
certificates. The only thing that kept me from having a scene with
myself was the fact that I had drank up all my merry Yuletide gifts.
Well, by and by, after piping off the check, counting it, biting it,
smelling it, I had sense enough to look at the letter. This is going to be
a long, sad tale, so you had better--yes, that's it--a little more of the
same. You see, it was this way.
"Last season when I--thank goodness--when I was with a Broadway
production instead of a road show, a certain party, whom I had met
while out on the one-night stands the season before, came stampeding
into town and it fell upon my fair young shoulders to show him the
sights. Query--Did I show him the sights? Answer--Yes, I did show
him the sights. If there was any place we didn't see it was because you
had to have an introduction to get in.
"Then Edward became inoculated with an idea that it would be a good

plan to consume all the booze on Broadway, thereby preventing others
from living intemperate lives. Such a chance. You know the new tunnel
couldn't hold the reserve supply of liquids that can report for duty at a
minute's notice on the corner of Forty-second and Broadway. The first
time I got hep to those proceedings was when I received the glad
tidings over the phone from a hospital steward that a friend of mine
was trying to bite holes in the detention sheet and shrieking my name.
"I grabbed a book on 'Pink Animals I Have Met' and flew to the rescue.
When I got to the cot there was Edward's cherubic mug peeping out
from under about four miles of nice clean bandages and an attendant
sitting daintily on his chest. When he saw me he calmed down and
dismissed the menagerie for the nonce. 'Dearie,' he said, taking my
shrinking little hand in his, 'it was awful. It's only by mere chance that
you find me custodian of this Reptile Bazar instead of one of these
"mangled remains" things. It was this way. I had been down to the bar
lapping up a few drinks and pretty soon a band comes up the street. I go
out to look it over and there is nothing in sight, so I go back and get
Arthur to mix me up another to see if it won't make me feel better. I
drink that and hear the band again. I run out just in time to see it hiding
behind the post. It's bum harmony at that, so I go upstairs to take a nap.
"'I'm lying