The Sorrows of a Show Girl | Page 6

the hair she wears is
not her own. I haven't a thing in the world against the poor creature, but
it has been breathed around the company that she is not all she should
be. Of course, I don't know positively, but it is what everybody says,
and I only wish she would make good with that four bits of mine."
"Well, I'm glad there's no hard feeling between you two, as I would like
to meet her."
"I'm very sorry, but you will have to pardon me if I refuse to give you a

knockdown, for I would steer no friend of a friend of mine up against a
flim flam where there's so many nice girls running loose. Take Tessie
Samonies, for example, she ain't very pretty, but she's awfully cute, and
after she gets a couple of sloe gins boosted into her she certainly is the
life of the party."
"All right, frame it up for me and I'll open wine or a window or
something to show that I'm a true sport."
"You bet I will, and we'll have a nice little family party, no knocking or
nothing; just sit and talk real friendly like."
"That's the idea and if anyone starts the anvil chorus they get the skiddo.
What? Who will we have?"
"Well, let's see, we'll have Tessie and you, me and Silent Murphy
here--and let's see who else?"
"Joe Zeweibaum and Miss Veronique."
"Not yet. Joe is all right in a crowd if you can keep him from talking
about his sales, but the dame--not for me, for if there's any one gets my
goat she's it."
"Shall we have Frank Millar and his first wife?"
"Oh, heavings! No! For if we did his third wife would hear about it and
then she would knock me to my husband, for you know they are
engaged, so if she hears anything about me you can bet she plays it up
strong."
"Well, can't you think of some one else?"
"No, I don't know a soul that is any good but us four. My goodness, I've
got to roll my hoop and do a shopping number, get my hair gargled--I
slept in it last night--and see a sick friend.
"Fate sure does sic tribulations on me at every turn of the road. This
business of hunting employment has got to be so balmy that I snort and

jump sideways every time anybody says 'job.'
"Now that the first of the year has kicked in, I thought everything
would be as merry as a marriage bell, but as yet there hasn't been a
ripple on the water. The only thing that acts as a star of hope to my
miserable existence is a date with a Summer stock that opens the first
of June, and there is a heap of smoke around that. I wish some one
would tip me off to some way of earning an honest living without
having to resort to a sock full of sand or a strong arm. But why be
downhearted? I haven't drunk up all my Christmas presents yet. As a
last hope I can load upon them and get some kind ambulance to drag
me up to the dippy department of some nice hospital. Honest, I am
getting so thin that before long I won't be able to understudy a drop of
water in Mr. Hawk's Hippodrome.
"A nice gentleman presented himself to me on Broadway the other
evening and, after passing the compliments of the season, invited me
out to inhale a young table d'hote. The way I sprang to his side made a
leap for life seem like sinful idleness. And where do you think he took
me? I ask as a friend, Where do you think he took me? To one of those
joints where you get everything from soup to nuts, including a scuttle
full of red ink for thirty-five scudi. I was going to balk and rear in the
harness when he started to lead me up the steps of the foundry, but as I
always maintained discretion is the better part of valor, I'm two-bits
ahead anyway you play it. So I climb into the nosebag without a peep.
Yet--would you believe it?--when that wop came to cash in he shook
the mothballs out of a roll of bills that looked like nine miles' worth of
hall carpet. I had been acting very reserved heretofore, but when he
made this flash he commenced to look like a very dear friend of mine
who had been very kind to me in moments of adversity. I apprised him
of the fact, and the dog had the temerity to pin his pocket shut with a
safety pin right before my eyes. I come to find out later