Swingin Round the Cirkle. | Page 9

they, 'The
Treasurey woodent hev bin wuth mutch to us ennyhow after the suckin
it has experienced for 12 years; it needs 4 years uv rest.' We elected
Poke, and here it wuz that Sin got a complete hold uv us. Anshent
compacts made with the devil wuz alluz ritten in blud. We made a
contract with Calhoonism, and that wuz ritten in blud wich wuz shed in
Mexico. Here we sold ourselves out, boots and britches, to the cotton
Democricy, and don't our history ever sence prove the trooth uv the text,
'The wages uv sin is deth?' O, my frends! in wat hevy installments, and
how regularly, hez these wages bin pade us.
"Our men uv character commenst leavin us. Silas Write kicked out, and
wood hev gone over agin us hed he not fortunately died too soon, and
skores uv uthers followed soot. Things went on until Peerse wuz
elected. The Devil (wich is cotton), whom we wuz servin, brot Kansas
into the ring, and wat a skatterin ensood.
"Agin, the men uv character got out, and gradually but shoorly the

work uv deth went on. Bookannon wuz elected, but wuz uv no yoose to
us. After Peerse hed run the machine four yeers, wat wuz there left?
Eko ansers. Anuther siftin follered, and the old party wich wunst
boasted a Jaxon hed got down to a Vallandigum. The Devil, to wich we
hed sold ourselves, wood not let us off with this, however. 'The wages
uv sin is deth,' and we hed not reseeved full pay ez yet. He instigated
South Karliny to rebel; he indoosed the other Democratic States to
foller; he forced the Northern Democrisy to support em, and so on.
That wuz the final stroke. Dickinson, and Cass, and Dix, and Todd, and
Logan, all left us, and wun by wun the galaxy uv Northern stars
disappeared from the Democratic firmament, leaving Noo Gersey alone,
and last fall, my brethrin, she sot in gloom.
"Oh, how true it is! We served sin faithfully, and where are we? We
went to war for slavery, and slavery is dead. We fit for a confederacy,
and the confederacy is dead. We fit for States Rites, and States Rites is
dead. And Democracy tied herself to all these corpses, and they hev
stunk her to death.
"Kentucky went heavy into the sin biznis, and whar is Kentucky? We
sent our men to the confedrit army, and none uv em cum back, ceptin
the skulkers, who comprised all uv that class wich we wood hev bin
glad to hev killed. Linkin wantid to hev us free our niggers, and be
compensatid for em. We held on to the sin uv niggers, and now they are
taken from us with nary a compensate. In short, whatever uv good the
Devil promised us in pollytix hez resulted in evil. My niggers is gone,
my plantashen here hez fed alternately both armies, ez they cavorted
backerds and forrerds through the Stait, my house and barns wuz burnt,
and all I hev to show for my property is Confedrit munny, which is a
very dead article uv death. I know not what the venerable old sucker in
the pulpit wuz a goin to say, but ef he kin look over this section uv the
heritage, and cant preach a elokent sermon on that text, he aint much on
the preach. I'm dun."
Uv coarse, after a ebulition of this kind, I cooldn't go on. I dismist the
awdience with a benedickshun, hopin to get em together when sich
prejudiced men aint present.

PETROLEUM V. NASBY, Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo
Dispensashun.

V.
The Effect the Proclamation of Secretary Seward produced in
Kentucky.
CONFEDRIT × ROADS (wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky), December
20, 1865.
At last! The deed is dun! The tiranikle government which hez sway at
Washington hez finelly extinguished the last glimerin flicker uv Liberty,
by abolishin slavery! The sun didn't go down in gloom that nite--the
stars didn't fade in2 a sickly yeller, at wich obstinacy uv nachur I wuz
considably astonished.
I got the news at the Post Offis (near wich I am at present stayin, at the
house uv a venerable old planter, who accepts my improvin
conversation and a occasional promise, wich is cheap, ez equivalent for
board). Sadly I wendid my way to his peaceful home, dreadin to fling
over that house the pall uv despair. After supper I broke to em ez gently
ez I cood the intelligence that three-fourths uv the States hed ratified
the constooshnel amendment--that Seward had ishood his proclamation,
and that all the Niggers wuz free!
Never did I see sich sorrer depicted on human countenance--never wuz
there despair uv sich depth. All nite long the bereaved