Swingin Round the Cirkle. | Page 6

be hung, and serve him rite. States rites is
dead, and slavery is abolished, and with it shivelry; and its my opinion
the South is a d----d sight better off without either of em. I kin sware,
now, after livin outside uv the shadder uv the flag 4 yeres, that I love it!
You bet I do. I carry a small one in my coat pocket. I hev a middlin
sized one waved by my youngest boy over the family when at prayers,
and a whalin big one wavin over my house all the time. I hev
diskivered that its a good thing to live under, and when sich cusses as
yoo talk uv what yoo will and wont do under it, I bile. Go home, yoo
cusses, go home! Yoo, South, and pullin orf your coat, go to work,
thankin God that Johnson's merciful enuff to let yoo go home at all
insted uv hangin yoo up like a dorg, for tryin to bust a Guverment too
good for yoo. Yoo, North, thankful that the men uv sense uv the North
hed the manhood to prevent us from rooinin ourselves by makin sich ez
yoo our niggers. Avaunt!"
And the excited Mr. Maginnis, who is evidently subjoogated, strode out
uv our presence. His intemperit talk cast a chill over our confidencis,

and we dident resoom with the ease and freedom we commenced with,
and in a few minutes we parted. I didn't like him.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY, Lait Paster uv the Church uv the Noo
Dispensashun.

III.
A Remarkable Dream.--A Country settled exclusively by Democrats.
WASHINGTON, December 1, 1865.
Last nite I was the victim uv another dream. Ef I don't quit this explorin
the realms of the fucher in my sleep, I shall become a second Saint
John. Ef so, I maik no doubt my revelations will be uv a remarkably
startlin character.
Methawt the Ablishnists had asserted the power we diskivered they
possest, after the late elecshuns, and had gone the whole figger. They
had forced the South into the humiliashen uv allowin niggers to testify,
and in the Northern states had given em the elective franchise. Uv
course the edecated and refined democrasy wood never consent to be
carried up to the polls alongside uv a nigger--uv course no Democratic
offis-seeker wood hoomiliate himself to treatin a nigger afore a election,
it bein a article uv faith with us never to drink with a nigger, onless he
pays for it.
Therefore, bein helpless, and resolvin never to submit, the heft uv the
Democrasy determined to emigrate in a body to some land where the
Anglo-Sackson cood rool,--where there was no mixter of the disgustin
African. Mexico wuz the country chosen, and methawt the entire party,
in one solid column, marched there. Our departure was a ovation. The
peeple on our route wuz all dressed in white, ez a token uv joy, and
from every house hung banners, with inscriptions onto em, sich ez,--
"Now is our hen-roosts safe!"

"Canada on its way to Mexico!"
"Poor Mexico--we bewail thy fate!"
Our march resembled very much that uv the childern uv Isrel. Our
noses wuz the pillers uv fire by nite, and our breath the piller uv smoke
by day.
On our arrival to Mexico, the natives of that country, struck probably
with awe at the majestic and flamin expression uv our countenances,
hastily gathered up their linen, and silver spoons, and hosses, and sich,
and retreated to the mountains. It wuz a kompliment to us that them ez
hadn't ennything remained.
Finally we reached a plain, where we, the modern childern uv Isrel,
decided to remane, and, uv course, the fust thing to do wuz to form a
guvernment.
Methawt Fernandy Wood, uv New York, wuz chosen viva voce, ez
President, and he stept forerd to hev the oath administered to him, wich
wuz 2 be dun by the oldest Justis uv the Peece uv the late stait uv Noo
Gersey, wich hez committed sooicide. Here a new trouble
ensood--there wuzn't a bible to be found in the whole encampment. The
difficulty wuz got over by a New York Alderman yellin out, "Never
mind the oath. What's the yoose uv any oath he takes?" So he wuz
declared President.
Prest. Wood then proceeded to organize. He requested sich ez hed held
commissions in the army uv the Yoonited States to step forerd three
paces. Gens. Micklelan, Buel, Fitsjohn Porter, & Slocum stept forerd,
and with em some 4,000, a part uv whom hed held quartermasters'
commissions, and whose accounts,
"Jest afore the battle, mother,"
didn't balance, but wich alluz did jist after, and others who hed bin
dismist for bein in the rear, when their sooperiors desired to see em in
the front, and who consekently considered it