Sailors Knots | Page 2

pint pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of
them.
"She can't act a bit," he ses. "Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and
my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know
nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was tired
of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my company
that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground."
"Wot about being reckernized?" ses Rupert.
The manager winked at 'im. "It's the part of a Zulu chief," he ses, in a
whisper.
Rupert started. "But I should 'ave to black my face," he ses.
"A little," ses the manager; "but you'd soon get on to better parts--and
see wot a fine disguise it is."
He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk
'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said
that if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his
'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best thing
he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it afore.
They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them
not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards
behind, follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager
stopped outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all
over with savages dancing and killing white people and hunting

elephants, and, arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the
door with a key and went inside.
"That's all right," he ses, as Rupert follered 'im in. "This is my wife,
Mrs. Alfredi," he ses, introducing 'im to a fat, red-'aired lady wot was
sitting inside sewing. "She has performed before all the crowned 'eads
of Europe. That di'mond brooch she's wearing was a present from the
Emperor of Germany, but, being a married man, he asked 'er to keep it
quiet."
Rupert shook 'ands with Mrs. Alfredi, and then her 'usband led 'im to a
room at the back, where a little lame man was cleaning up things, and
told 'im to take his clothes off.
"If they was mine," he ses, squinting at the fire-place, "I should know
wot to do with 'em."
Rupert laughed and slapped 'im on the back, and, arter cutting his
uniform into pieces, stuffed it into the fireplace and pulled the dampers
out. He burnt up 'is boots and socks and everything else, and they all
three laughed as though it was the best joke in the world. Then Mr.
Alfredi took his coat off and, dipping a piece of rag into a basin of stuff
wot George 'ad fetched, did Rupert a lovely brown all over.
"That's the fust coat," he ses. "Now take a stool in front of the fire and
let it soak in."
He gave 'im another coat arf an hour arterwards, while George curled
his 'air, and when 'e was dressed in bracelets round 'is ankles and wrists,
and a leopard-skin over his shoulder, he was as fine a Zulu as you could
wish for to see. His lips was naturally thick and his nose flat, and even
his eyes 'appened to be about the right color.
"He's a fair perfect treat," ses Mr. Alfredi. "Fetch Kumbo in, George."
The little man went out, and came back agin shoving in a fat, stumpy
Zulu woman wot began to grin and chatter like a poll-parrot the
moment she saw Rupert.

"It's all right," ses Mr. Alfredi; "she's took a fancy to you."
"Is--is she an actress?" ses Rupert.
"One o' the best," ses the manager. "She'll teach you to dance and shy
assegais. Pore thing! she buried her 'usband the day afore we come here,
but you'll be surprised to see 'ow skittish she can be when she has got
over it a bit."
They sat there while Rupert practised--till he started shying the assegais,
that is--and then they went out and left 'im with Kumbo. Considering
that she 'ad only just buried her 'usband, Rupert found her quite skittish
enough, and he couldn't 'elp wondering wot she'd be like when she'd
got over her grief a bit more.
The manager and George said he 'ad got on wonderfully, and arter
talking it over with Mrs. Alfredi they decided to open that evening, and
pore Rupert found out that the shop was the theatre, and all the acting
he'd got to do was to dance war-dances and sing in Zulu to people wot
had paid a penny a 'ead. He was a bit nervous at fust, for fear anybody
should find out that