Imaginary Conversations and Poems | Page 8

you seven or eight.

_Peter._ Thou liest; nor six. And civilized, forsooth? Why, the robes of
the metropolitan, him at Upsal, are not worth three ducats, between Jew
and Livornese. I have no notion that Poland and Sweden shall be the
only countries that produce great princes. What right have they to such
as Gustavus and Sobieski? Europe ought to look to this before
discontents become general, and the people do to us what we have the
privilege of doing to the people. I am wasting my words: there is no
arguing with positive fools like thee. So thou wouldst have desired me
to let the Polanders and Swedes lie still and quiet! Two such powerful
nations!
_Alexis._ For that reason and others I would have gladly seen them rest,
until our own people had increased in numbers and prosperity.
_Peter._ And thus thou disputest my right, before my face, to the
exercise of the supreme power.
_Alexis._ Sir! God forbid!
_Peter._ God forbid, indeed! What care such villains as thou art what
God forbids! He forbids the son to be disobedient to the father; He
forbids--He forbids--twenty things. I do not wish, and will not have, a
successor who dreams of dead people.
_Alexis._ My father! I have dreamed of none such.
_Peter._ Thou hast, and hast talked about them--Scythians, I think, they
call 'em. Now, who told thee, Mr. Professor, that the Scythians were a
happier people than we are; that they were inoffensive; that they were
free; that they wandered with their carts from pasture to pasture, from
river to river; that they traded with good faith; that they fought with
good courage; that they injured none, invaded none, and feared none?
At this rate I have effected nothing. The great founder of Rome, I heard
in Holland, slew his brother for despiting the weakness of his walls;
and shall the founder of this better place spare a degenerate son, who
prefers a vagabond life to a civilized one, a cart to a city, a Scythian to
a Muscovite? Have I not shaved my people, and breeched them? Have I
not formed them into regular armies, with bands of music and

haversacks? Are bows better than cannon? shepherds than dragoons,
mare's milk than brandy, raw steaks than broiled? Thine are tenets that
strike at the root of politeness and sound government. Every prince in
Europe is interested in rooting them out by fire and sword. There is no
other way with false doctrines: breath against breath does little.
_Alexis._ Sire, I never have attempted to disseminate my opinions.
_Peter._ How couldst thou? the seed would fall only on granite. Those,
however, who caught it brought it to me.
_Alexis._ Never have I undervalued civilization: on the contrary, I
regretted whatever impeded it. In my opinion, the evils that have been
attributed to it sprang from its imperfections and voids; and no nation
has yet acquired it more than very scantily.
_Peter._ How so? give me thy reasons--thy fancies, rather; for reason
thou hast none.
_Alexis._ When I find the first of men, in rank and genius, hating one
another, and becoming slanderers and liars in order to lower and vilify
an opponent; when I hear the God of mercy invoked to massacres, and
thanked for furthering what He reprobates and condemns--I look back
in vain on any barbarous people for worse barbarism. I have expressed
my admiration of our forefathers, who, not being Christians, were yet
more virtuous than those who are; more temperate, more just, more
sincere, more chaste, more peaceable.
_Peter._ Malignant atheist!
_Alexis._ Indeed, my father, were I malignant I must be an atheist; for
malignity is contrary to the command, and inconsistent with the belief,
of God.
_Peter._ Am I Czar of Muscovy, and hear discourses on reason and
religion? from my own son, too! No, by the Holy Trinity! thou art no
son of mine. If thou touchest my knee again, I crack thy knuckles with
this tobacco-stopper: I wish it were a sledge-hammer for thy sake. Off,

sycophant! Off, runaway slave!
_Alexis._ Father! father! my heart is broken! If I have offended, forgive
me!
_Peter._ The State requires thy signal punishment.
_Alexis._ If the State requires it, be it so; but let my father's anger
cease!
_Peter._ The world shall judge between us. I will brand thee with
infamy.
_Alexis._ Until now, O father! I never had a proper sense of glory.
Hear me, O Czar! let not a thing so vile as I am stand between you and
the world! Let none accuse you!
_Peter._ Accuse me, rebel! Accuse me, traitor!
_Alexis._ Let none speak ill of you, O my father! The public voice
shakes the palace; the public voice penetrates the grave; it precedes the
chariot of Almighty God, and is heard