Imaginary Conversations and Poems | Page 7

my birth did not appear to
destine me to purchase a house anywhere; and hitherto your liberality,
my father, hath supplied my wants of every kind.
_Peter._ Not of wisdom, not of duty, not of spirit, not of courage, not of
ambition. I have educated thee among my guards and horses, among
my drums and trumpets, among my flags and masts. When thou wert a
child, and couldst hardly walk, I have taken thee into the arsenal,
though children should not enter according to regulations: I have there
rolled cannon-balls before thee over iron plates; and I have shown thee
bright new arms, bayonets and sabres; and I have pricked the back of
my hands until the blood came out in many places; and I have made
thee lick it; and I have then done the same to thine. Afterward, from thy
tenth year, I have mixed gunpowder in thy grog; I have peppered thy
peaches; I have poured bilge-water (with a little good wholesome tar in
it) upon thy melons; I have brought out girls to mock thee and cocker
thee, and talk like mariners, to make thee braver. Nothing would do.
Nay, recollect thee! I have myself led thee forth to the window when
fellows were hanged and shot; and I have shown thee every day the
halves and quarters of bodies; and I have sent an orderly or
chamberlain for the heads; and I have pulled the cap up from over the
eyes; and I have made thee, in spite of thee, look steadfastly upon them,

incorrigible coward!
And now another word with thee about thy scandalous flight from the
palace, in time of quiet, too! To the point! Did my brother of Austria
invite thee? Did he, or did he not?
_Alexis._ May I answer without doing an injury or disservice to his
Imperial Majesty?
_Peter._ Thou mayest. What injury canst thou or any one do, by the
tongue, to such as he is?
_Alexis._ At the moment, no; he did not. Nor indeed can I assert that
he at any time invited me; but he said he pitied me.
_Peter._ About what? hold thy tongue; let that pass. Princes never pity
but when they would make traitors: then their hearts grow tenderer than
tripe. He pitied thee, kind soul, when he would throw thee at thy
father's head; but finding thy father too strong for him, he now
commiserates the parent, laments the son's rashness and disobedience,
and would not make God angry for the world. At first, however, there
must have been some overture on his part; otherwise thou are too
shamefaced for intrusion. Come--thou hast never had wit enough to
lie--tell me the truth, the whole truth.
_Alexis._ He said that if ever I wanted an asylum, his court was open to
me.
_Peter._ Open! so is the tavern; but folks pay for what they get there.
Open, truly! and didst thou find it so?
_Alexis._ He received me kindly.
_Peter._ I see he did.
_Alexis._ Derision, O my father! is not the fate I merit.
_Peter._ True, true! it was not intended.

_Alexis._ Kind father! punish me then as you will.
_Peter._ Villain! wouldst thou kiss my hand, too? Art thou ignorant
that the Austrian threw thee away from him, with the same indifference
as he would the outermost leaf of a sandy sunburnt lettuce?
_Alexis._ Alas! I am not ignorant of this.
_Peter._ He dismissed thee at my order. If I had demanded from him
his daughter, to be the bedfellow of a Kalmuc, he would have given her,
and praised God.
_Alexis._ O father! is his baseness my crime?
_Peter._ No; thine is greater. Thy intention, I know, is to subvert the
institutions it has been the labour of my lifetime to establish. Thou hast
never rejoiced at my victories.
_Alexis._ I have rejoiced at your happiness and your safety.
_Peter._ Liar! coward! traitor! when the Polanders and Swedes fell
before me, didst thou from thy soul congratulate me? Didst thou get
drunk at home or abroad, or praise the Lord of Hosts and Saint
Nicholas? Wert thou not silent and civil and low-spirited?
_Alexis._ I lamented the irretrievable loss of human life; I lamented
that the bravest and noblest were swept away the first; that the gentlest
and most domestic were the earliest mourners; that frugality was
supplanted by intemperance; that order was succeeded by confusion;
and that your Majesty was destroying the glorious plans you alone were
capable of devising.
_Peter._ I destroy them! how? Of what plans art thou speaking?
_Alexis._ Of civilizing the Muscovites. The Polanders in part were
civilized: the Swedes, more than any other nation on the Continent; and
so excellently versed were they in military science, and so courageous,
that every man you killed cost