David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating - How To Change Yourself | Page 8

gives them the feeling that they’re doing something
about it, which can be an excuse that allows the fear of approaching or
rejection to overwhelm their remaining desire to get results with
women.
This “paralysis of analysis” is a trap that prevents a lot of guys
from actually going out and getting the sort of real experience you
have to have in order to start succeeding. Theory has its place, but
it’s useless without practical application. The sort of learning that can
only come from real experience “out in the field.”
There’s a distinct difference between a belief from book learning
and knowing something from experience. Knowledge that comes from
experience leads to more conviction and confidence. Others look to
see how strongly you believe in this knowledge. To sell something you
must communicate confidence in these beliefs, so to convince others
about attraction you must have also acquired some practical
experience.
Jumping to Mastery
Mastery is when you don’t even have to know what you’re going to
do, but you can just make it happen regardless of how things flow.
Mastery requires energy, focus and determination, so it’s the land

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. – Change Yourself - By David DeAngelo
of the big boys. Newbies always want to learn the tricks, the flashy
moves of the masters first. But before you go down moguls, you’ve
got learn balance and control.
A lot of success comes down to delaying gratification, putting off
results in exchange for learning a skill. Instead of talking to one
women and keeping the conversation going for 3 hours, talk to 20
women for 3 minutes and try to get emails—master that skill first.
Also, think of every step between you and your goal when setting
your expectations. To cross the river from your home shores of wussy
to the promised land of mastery, you must put a steady foot on each
stepping stone in turn.
Some guys have a technique which works great, so they’re getting
numbers and asking for dates. But they didn’t pay attention to all the
pieces, like what to do on the actual date or how to kiss, so they don’t
reach their final goal.
Wherever you’re at is fine. You can start with props, canned lines,
etc., just as long as you work your way up from there and don’t try to
jump to the end. Work along gradually from getting numbers in three
minutes to moving towards establishing intimacy.
Not Valuing the Result
If dating or women just aren’t that important to you, that alone
can be enough to prevent you from taking action. If the dissonance
associated with doing what it takes to meet women is greater than the
dissonance of being single, then you’ll stay in your comfort zone.
There’s no getting around the fact that it’s going to take some
amount of effort and some risk to improve your results. You have to
decide that it’s important enough to you to be worth putting some
work into it. If not, you’ve lost before you’ve even begun.