A Modest Proposal | Page 5

matter, to offer
a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this
kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the
want of venison might be well supply'd by the bodies of young lads and
maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve; so
great a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to
starve for want of work and service: And these to be disposed of by
their parents if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with
due deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I
cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my
American acquaintance assured me from frequent experience, that their
flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our school-boys, by
continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them
would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think,
with humble submission, be a loss to the publick, because they soon
would become breeders themselves: And besides, it is not improbable
that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice,
(although indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty,
which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection
against any project, how well soever intended.

But in order to justify my friend, he confessed, that this expedient was
put into his head by the famous Salmanaazor, a native of the island
Formosa, who came from thence to London, above twenty years ago,
and in conversation told my friend, that in his country, when any young
person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to
persons of quality, as a prime dainty; and that, in his time, the body of a
plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the
Emperor, was sold to his imperial majesty's prime minister of state, and
other great mandarins of the court in joints from the gibbet, at four
hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were
made of several plump young girls in this town, who without one single
groat to their fortunes, cannot stir abroad without a chair, and appear at
a play-house and assemblies in foreign fineries which they never will
pay for; the kingdom would not be the worse.
Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast
number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed; and I have
been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken, to ease
the nation of so grievous an incumbrance. But I am not in the least pain
upon that matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day
dying, and rotting, by cold and famine, and filth, and vermin, as fast as
can be reasonably expected. And as to the young labourers, they are
now in almost as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and
consequently pine away from want of nourishment, to a degree, that if
at any time they are accidentally hired to common labour, they have not
strength to perform it, and thus the country and themselves are happily
delivered from the evils to come.
I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I
think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious
and many, as well as of the highest importance.
For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number
of Papists, with whom we are yearly over-run, being the principal
breeders of the nation, as well as our most dangerous enemies, and who
stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the
Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many

good Protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country, than
stay at home and pay tithes against their conscience to an episcopal
curate.
Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their
own, which by law may be made liable to a distress, and help to pay
their landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and
money a thing unknown.
Thirdly, Whereas the maintainance of an hundred thousand children,
from two years old, and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten
shillings a piece per annum, the nation's stock will be thereby encreased
fifty thousand pounds per annum, besides the profit of a new dish,
introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom,
who have any refinement in taste. And the money will circulate among
our selves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and
manufacture.
Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings
sterling per