25 Lies Men Are Told | Page 2

believe these lies and actually make an effort to
establish a relationship with the woman who says them, you are setting yourself up for a major
fall. Beware.
4. Call me anytime: This is one of the most insidious fa lsehoods you will hear, particularly if you
take the speaker up on her offer and actually phone her. In almost every case, your call will find
her: in the shower, just leaving for an appoi ntment, just flitting through the house between
appointments, just falling asleep, just waking up, or, perhaps the most commonly used reaction,
"kind of busy now." [TRANSLATION - "I'm with someone I REALLY want to spend time with." OR
"I'm waiting for a call from someone I REALLY w ant to talk to." See the Looks/Money lies above.]
She will most likely express first utter shock and then anger that you would actually have the
nerve to call her and disturb her at such an i nopportune time. "Call me anytime" is on the same
level of truthfulness with "Come see me." It's an often used blow- off which has no real
substance. When you are told to "c all me anytime," what you're really being told, politely, is "Buzz
off. I've got too many important things to do to waste any more of my time talking to a loser like
you."
5. I like you as a friend: [TRANSLATION - You aren't good enough for me.] Breathes there a
man anywhere on Earth who hasn't heard this one at least once? If you've ever taken her out for
a nice dinner or bought her flowers, you are more likely to hear this one than if you are just a
casual acquaintance. She knows a meal ticket w hen she sees one and isn't about to give you the
complete brush-off. After all, she might get bored one night when Mr. Wonderful is out of town
and she knows who the soft touch is. If you can live with being a "friend" who gets the pleasure of
her company, from a distance, for as long as y ou're willing to pick up the tab, and you can accept
the fact that she will be sending y ou straight home with a handshake wh ile she offers her fruits to
someone else, then feel free to accept this one at face value.
6. I'm not ready for a relationship just now: [TRANSLATION - You aren't rich enough/good
looking enough for me to get serious about.] Closel y related to the Looks/Money lies above, but
usually used after the initial bitterness has passed and she begins to regain her normal womanly
sense of priorities. This one might have a bit of credibility if you were certain you wouldn't see her
the same night sucking face with some dude in gold jewelry and tight jea\
ns. Most women, when
in the company of other women, regularly bemoan the fact that they "just can't find a good man."
What this means, in female-ese, is that they "just can't find a man who trips my trigger." Women
understand this completely, but men tend to ta ke it literally. WARNING: If you happen to be one
of her "friends" (see above) and happen to be the reci pient of one of her patented "I can't find a
good man" laments, NEVER tell her that you woul d like a more serious relationship with her
unless you're the type who enjoys multiple blows to your ego. If you don't want to hear in vivid
detail what exactly is wrong with you, don't expr ess your desire to get serious because she will
tell you with no holds barred. Since you're such a "good friend," she won't think you'll mind a bit of
"honesty."
7. I can't go out tonight because... [plug in your own excuse]: [TRANSLATION - I wouldn't go
out with you if I had to choose between that and root canal work without local anesthesia.] This is
one of several customizable fibs you'll encount er. Younger women, up to about age 30, almost
always use "I have to wash my hair" as the second part of this one while older women tend to
lean toward "I've had a hard day and I want to ju st rest." "My [Aunt, Grandmother, Sister, college
roommate, former neighbor, any other warm body I c an think of quickly] is coming to visit" is

another popular selection, and is used about equally across all age groups. Almost without
exception, the warm body who is about to move in is another female. That keeps the door slightly
ajar in case you win the lottery