25 Lies Men Are Told

The lies women tell men
Since male bashing is all the rage today, particularly among feminists and
politicians seeking their votes, it is high time men had their say.

One of the most popular pastimes among the feminists is to list, ad nauseum, the lies men
supposedly tell them twenty-four hours a day. While it is acknowledged that few men are true
saints, it is also true that we have other things to occupy our time than inventing new and creative
fibs with which to deflower innocent women. To t hat end, the following lies, directly from the lips
of these same saintly women, are humbly subm itted for your information and survival in a
decidedly hostile female-oriented society. These lies are listed in no particular order and include,
in most cases, the literal translation.
Before embarking on any discussion of the actual lie s, however, it is incumbent upon us to make
note of a few of the assumptions women make about men. Doing so serves both to provide men
with some insights, albeit considerably limited, into how females think and also to put the lies that
follow into their proper perspective:
1. All men ever think about is sex: This one is obvious to any man who has had any contact at
all with women because the woman will tell him exac tly that. This isn't a lie, per se, because the
woman actually believes it
2. Men cannot share their feelings: Unless a man continually cries, most women believe him to
be cold and unfeeling. They cannot accept the fact that men tend to internalize their feelings
much more than women, therefore consider most men selfish.
3. It is in men's nature to lie to women: Here again is an example of female assumptions
regarding the activities of men. Since men tend to internalize feelings (see above), they also do
not tend to provide minute by minute narratives on their activities. A woman will interpret this
internalization as covering up something insi dious, therefore the man must be lying.
4. Men do not like kids: Unless a man is totally involved in the everyday care of his children,
women believe that he does not like them. It doesn't matter one whit that he takes them places
and plays games with them, not to mention provi des for them, the moment he has to make the
choice between going to work and staying home with the kids, if he decides to go to work, he is a
child hater.
5. Once the kids are raised, men are of no further use to women: This one is all too often sad
but true. If the particular woman in a man's lif e has as her singular goal the procreation and
raising of children, then once this has been acco mplished, the man might as well be a piece of
furniture for all the attention he will receive.
Now to the meat of the matter:
1. Women never lie to men: As we shall soon see, this is perhaps the most blatant falsehood of
them all. The chief problem with this particula r statement is that of perception. Most women
believe that, unlike men, they are psychologically and morally incapable of telling lies, that the
things they tell men are merely defense mec hanisms designed to protect them from pain and
suffering which men perpetually inflict upon them. Ther efore, a woman can look a man straight in
the eyes and, without a morsel of remorse, tell him a lie, thinking all the while that what she is
telling him is the complete truth or, at the ve ry least, a smoke screen to keep him off balance.
2. Looks aren't important. It's what's inside a person that really counts: This one is closely
related to:

3. Money isn't important. It's what's inside a person that really counts: These statements
are most often uttered by a woman who has recently ended a bad relationship with a wealthy
and/or drop-dead good looking guy and is on the r ebound. Such obviously tainted comments are
nothing more than the by-products of temporar y bitterness and should never be taken seriously
unless you thrive on pain and confusion. Men who are neither wealthy nor handsome should be
particularly wary upon hearing either of these co mments. In most circumstances, the woman who
makes either or both of these statements will be in the arms of yet another smooth operator with
the bank account of Bill Gates and/or the looks of Antonio Banderas before the end of the week,
regardless of your efforts. If you happen to