Uneasy Money | Page 2

in 'Debrett' to men
whose names were on the notice boards of obscure clubs in connexion
with the non-payment of dues. He was the sort of man one instinctively
calls Bill.
The anti-race-suicide enthusiast with the rubber rings did not call Lord
Dawlish Bill, but otherwise his manner was intimate. His lordship's
gaze being a little slow in returning from the middle distance--for it
was not a matter to be decided carelessly and without thought, this
problem of carrying the length of Shaftesbury Avenue with a single
brassy shot--he repeated the gossip from the home. Lord Dawlish

regarded him thoughtfully.
'It could be done,' he said, 'but you'd want a bit of pull on it. I'm sorry; I
didn't catch what you said.'
The other obliged with his remark for the third time, with increased
pathos, for constant repetition was making him almost believe it
himself.
'Four starving children?'
'Four, guv'nor, so help me!'
'I suppose you don't get much time for golf then, what?' said Lord
Dawlish, sympathetically.
It was precisely three days, said the man, mournfully inflating a dying
rooster, since his offspring had tasted bread.
This did not touch Lord Dawlish deeply. He was not very fond of bread.
But it seemed to be troubling the poor fellow with the studs a great deal,
so, realizing that tastes differ and that there is no accounting for them,
he looked at him commiseratingly.
'Of course, if they like bread, that makes it rather rotten, doesn't it?
What are you going to do about it?'
'Buy a dying rooster, guv'nor,' he advised. 'Causes great fun and
laughter.'
Lord Dawlish eyed the strange fowl without enthusiasm.
'No,' he said, with a slight shudder.
There was a pause. The situation had the appearance of being at a
deadlock.
'I'll tell you what,' said Lord Dawlish, with the air of one who, having
pondered, has been rewarded with a great idea: 'the fact is, I really don't
want to buy anything. You seem by bad luck to be stocked up with just
the sort of things I wouldn't be seen dead in a ditch with. I can't stand
rubber rings, never could. I'm not really keen on buttonhooks. And I
don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think that squeaking bird of yours
is about the beastliest thing I ever met. So suppose I give you a shilling
and call it square, what?'
'Gawd bless yer, guv'nor.'
'Not at all. You'll be able to get those children of yours some bread--I
expect you can get a lot of bread for a shilling. Do they really like it?
Rum kids!'
And having concluded this delicate financial deal Lord Dawlish turned,

the movement bringing him face to face with a tall girl in white.
During the business talk which had just come to an end this girl had
been making her way up the side street which forms a short cut
between Coventry Street and the Bandolero, and several admirers of
feminine beauty who happened to be using the same route had almost
dislocated their necks looking after her. She was a strikingly handsome
girl. She was tall and willowy. Her eyes, shaded by her hat, were large
and grey. Her nose was small and straight, her mouth, though
somewhat hard, admirably shaped, and she carried herself
magnificently. One cannot blame the policeman on duty in Leicester
Square for remarking to a cabman as she passed that he envied the
bloke that that was going to meet.
Bill Dawlish was this fortunate bloke, but, from the look of him as he
caught sight of her, one would have said that he did not appreciate his
luck. The fact of the matter was that he had only just finished giving
the father of the family his shilling, and he was afraid that Claire had
seen him doing it. For Claire, dear girl, was apt to be unreasonable
about these little generosities of his. He cast a furtive glance behind
him in the hope that the disseminator of expiring roosters had vanished,
but the man was still at his elbow. Worse, he faced them, and in a
hoarse but carrying voice he was instructing Heaven to bless his
benefactor.
'Halloa, Claire darling!' said Lord Dawlish, with a sort of sheepish
breeziness. 'Here you are.'
Claire was looking after the stud merchant, as, grasping his wealth, he
scuttled up the avenue.
'Only a bob,' his lordship hastened to say. 'Rather a sad case, don't you
know. Squads of children at home demanding bread. Didn't want much
else, apparently, but were frightfully keen on bread.'
'He has just gone into a public-house.'
'He may have gone to telephone or something, what?'
'I wish,' said Claire, fretfully, leading the way down the grillroom stairs,
'that you wouldn't let all London