Three Plays | Page 5

back here and move, or else own up to de folks
yo' can't push no checkers wid me. (He sits and begins to lay out moves

with his fingers and scratch his head. Enter another MAN and stands
akimbo looking over Cliff's shoulder)
Cliff (Looking up) Don't stand over me lak dat, ugly as yo' is.
Man (Skanko) You ain't nobody's pretty baby yo'self!
Cliff Dat's all right, I ain't as ugly as yo'--youse ugly enough to git
behind a Simpoon weed and hatch monkies.
Man (Skanko) And youse ugly enough to git behind a tombstone and
hatch hants.
Cliff Youse so ugly dey have to cover yo' face up at night so sleep can
slip up on yo'.
Man (Skanko) You look like ten cents worth of Have-Mercy. Yo' face
look lak ole Uncle Jump-off. Yo' mouth look lak a bunch of ruffles.
Cliff Yeah, but yo' done passed me. Yo' so ugly till they could throw
yo' in de Mississippi River and skim ugly for six months.
Man (Skanko) Look here, Cliff, don't yo' personate me! Counting from
de little finger back to de thumb--yo' start anythin', I go yo' some.
Cliff Go head and grab me buddie, but if yo' don't know how to turn me
loose too, don't bring de mess up! If yo' hit me, I may not beat you, but
yo'll be so dirty when St. Peter git yo' dat he can't use yo'.
Man (Skanko) Don't call me buddy. Yo' buddy is huntin' coconuts.
Don't yo' try to throw me for a nap. Do. I'll kill yo' so stiff dead they'll
have to push yo' down. Yo' gointer to make me do some double cussin'
on you. (He picks up a heavy stick and walks back towards Cliff) Now
I got dis farmer's choice in my hands, yo' better git outa my face.
Cliff Yo' wanta fight?
Man Yeah I wanta fight. Put it where I kin use it and I'll sho' use it. I'll
fight anybody. I get so hot sometimes I fights de corner of de house.

I'm so hot I totes a pistol to keep from gettin' in a fight wid myself. I
prints dangerous every time I sit down in, in a chair.
Cliff Man, this ain't no fighting weather. Ha, ha, ha! Did yo' think I was
mad sho' nuff? Yo' can't fight me. They's got to be runnin' before
fightin' and they's got to be plenty good runnin' before dis fight comes
off.
Man All right now. Yo' leave me alone and I'm a good man. I'm just
like an old shoe. If yo' rain on me and cool me off I'm soft! If yo' shine
on me and git me hot, I'm hard. (He drops the stick and exits)
(Cliff is shaking all over. He looks after the Man to be sure he is gone)
Good Black Kah, kah, kah. Whut yo' so scarred about? De way yo' was
talkin' I though yo' was mad enough to fight.
Cliff I was. I gits hot real quick! But I'm very easy cooled when de man
I'm mad wid is bigger'n me. (He drops into his seat, wiping his face)
Man did yo' see how he grabbed up dat check? He done skeered me
into a three-week's spasm!
Good Black's Wife Good Black, dese clothes is still waiting.
Good Black Well, let 'em wait on, I done tole yo' once. Yo' kind run yo'
mouf but yo' can't run my business.
(Enter a PRETTY GIRL. She strolls happily across without stopping.
Good Black pretends to cough)
Good Black Who is dat?
Girl (Turns and glares at him) My old man got something for dat cough
yo' got.
Cliff Dat's right, tell dese old mullet hear married men to mind they
own business. Now, take me for instance. I'm a much-right man. (Gets
up and approaches her flirtatiously) I didn't quite git yo' name straight.
Yo' better tell it to me again.

Girl My name is Bee Ethel, turned round to Jones.
Cliff (Flirtatiously) Yo' pretty lil ole ground angel yo'? Where did yo'
come from?
Bee Ethel Detroit. Yo' like me?
Cliff Do I lak yo'? I love yo' just lak God loves Gabriel, and dat's his
best angel. Go 'head and say somethin'. I jus' love to hear yo' talk.
Bee Ethel Gimme five dollars. I need some stockings.
Cliff Now Mama, dis ain't Gimme, Ga. Dis is Waycross. I'm just lak de
cemetery. I takes in but never no put out. I ain't puttin' out nothin' but
old folks eyes--and I don't do that till they's dead. Run long, mama.
(The girl exits and he resumes his seat)
Cliff Come on, Good Black, lemme wrap dis checker roun yo' neck.
Good Black Gimme time, gimme time! Don't try to