The Spirit of Contradiction | Page 8

Townly: Well, Lucas, have you been thinking about our business--have
you considered what I said to you?
Lucas: Shh!
Townly: Shh?
Nelson: Shh!
Lucas: This gentleman here wishes to marry Miss Angelica, Angelica
also, Madam does, you do, and so do I. So the matter's settled.
Nelson: See--it's settled.
Lucas: I say it's not settled. For from the moment she sees that we want
it, too--she won't stand for it, not her!
Townly: That's the trouble.
Nelson: That's the trouble.
Lucas: Oh, I ask you if--
Townly: Certainly.
Nelson: What a question.
Lucas: I ask you then if she were unaware that we agree--
Nelson: That's a good idea.
Townly: Very good, Lucas.
Nelson: That's my advice.
Lucas: That's good advice. You must tell everybody so that your
opinion's spread by rumor. For my part, I know that your wife's temper
is like a whirligig that's always turning one way then another in the

wind. Therefore, we must make the wind appear to blow from the West
so she’ll blow to the East. Ah, there must be two winds blowing about
Miss Angelica. Nelson on one side, and Young Richly on the other. We
have only to say that it's Richly we want and she will force this
gentleman on us just to cross us. That's my pronouncement.
Townly: That will tie it up.
Nelson: That's the trick. Here are a hundred pounds, Lucas.
Lucas: It's necessary to tie two knots to do the job right. For there
remains the little matter of putting Madam in the mood to cross you.
Townly: Let's try to do it immediately--our lawyer has been called, the
marriage contract is ready.
Lucas: Yes, but to finish this properly she must be put into a rage. I
know the secret of irritating her. When she comes to inspect my garden
I will pretend not to say a word. Instead, I will scrape the ground with
my shovel--that will infuriate her. I will shake my head--she'll take that
for opposition and begin to argue; the fire will ignite, and when her
spirit is aflame--she will remember that she is an honest woman and
that she told you and you deceived her. And here she is now. I will get
her going, then you come in and announce you've decided on Young
Richly.
(Exit Nelson and Townly, then enter Mrs. Townly)
Mrs. Townly: You were there quite a while with my husband.
Apparently, he knows the one he wants for a son-in-law. Is it Mr.
Richly or Mr. Nelson, as I advised him?
Lucas: (turning his hat) HMMM!
Mrs. Townly: You turn your hat. That means my husband didn't take
my advice.
Lucas: (shaking his head) PRRR!
Mrs. Townly: Mr. Nelson, you say is not to my husband's taste--and he
prefers Richly?
Lucas: Heh, heh, heh.
Mrs. Townly: Because he is younger? Or because Richly is more
pleasing to my daughter?
Lucas: Oh, well--
Mrs. Townly: What! You think that the solid wealth of Mr. Nelson is
not preferable--
Lucas: Well--

Mrs. Townly: I get mad when I hear nonsense like this.
Lucas: But, but, but--
Mrs. Townly: False reasoning, all of it.
Lucas: (striking the ground with his foot) The devil!
Mrs. Townly: And everything you have told me is what my husband
told you?
Lucas: Pah fan goo.
Mrs. Townly: So you've told me word for word everything he said.
Well, let me tell you, in spite of him--
Lucas: Han.
Mrs. Townly: Yes, in spite of him. In his teeth.
Lucas: Pao.
Mrs. Townly: Yes. He takes a high handed tone like that with me.
Lucas: Pa, ta, ta.
Mrs. Townly: He will see that I am the boss.
Lucas: Puff.
Mrs. Townly: Oh, that's too much. Husband, you cross me, you insult
me, you outrage me!
(Lucas signals Townly to come in and places Townly beside his wife;
Lucas exits)
Mrs. Townly: (seeing him after a moment in Lucas' place) Continue, sir,
continue. I really want to know where you get the things you say to me.
Townly: I didn't say a word.
Mrs. Townly: Go ahead, be brave. It takes a lot to get me worked up.
Townly: It's true that I've come to speak to you.
Mrs. Townly: To speak to me without reason, without sense, that Mr.
Nelson wouldn't be good for my daughter.
Townly: Still, Richly--
Mrs. Townly: Don't say another word--
Townly: I ask you to consider Richly.
Mrs. Townly: No, sir. Richly presents nothing worthy of my
consideration.
Townly: Well, for my sake then--
Mrs. Townly: >From today, I give my daughter to Mr. Nelson.
Townly: But the reason.
Mrs. Townly: The reason is that I wish it. And to prove that I am right
it's going to happen as I wish and immediately. Mr. Nelson is here. Get

ready