The Real Dope | Page 3

us they's one that looks like he must of bribed the jury or he
wouldn't be here and his name is Smith and another one's name is Sam
Hall and he has always got a grouch on and the other boy is O. K. only
I would like him a whole lot better if he was about 1/2 his size but no
he is as big as me only not put up like I am. His name is Lee and he

pulls a lot of funny stuff like this A. M. he says they must of thought us
four was a male quartette and they stuck us all in together so as we
could get some close harmony. That's what they call it when they hit
them minors.
Well Al I always been use to sleeping with my feet in bed with me but
you can't do that in the bunk I have got because your knee would crack
you in the jaw and knock you out and even if they was room to strech
Hall keeps crabbing till you can't rest and he keeps the room filled up
with cigarette smoke and no air and you can't open up the port hole or
you would freeze to death so about the only chance I get to sleep is up
in the parlor in a chair in the day time and you don't no sooner set down
when they got a life boat drill or something and for some reason
another they have a role call every day and that means everybody has
got to answer to their name to see if we are all on board just as if they
was any other place to go.
When they give the signal for a life boat drill everybody has got to stick
their life belt on and go to the boat where they have been given the
number of it and even when everybody knows its a fake you got to
show up just the same and yesterday they was one bird thats supposed
to go in our life boat and he was sea sick and he didn't show up so they
went after him and one of the officers told him that wasn't no excuse
and what would he do if he was sea sick and the ship was realy sinking
and he says he thought it was realy sinking ever since we started.
Well Al we got some crowd on the boat and they's two French officers
along with us that been giveing drills and etc. in one of the camps in the
U. S. and navy officers and gunners and a man would almost wish
something would happen because I bet we would put up some battle.
Lee just come in and asked me who was I writeing to and I told him
and he says I better be careful to not write nothing against anybody on
the trip just as if I would. But any way I asked him why not and he says
because all the mail would be opened and read by the censor so I said
"Yes but he won't see this because I won't mail it till we get across the
old pond and then I will mail all my letters at once."

So he said a man can't do it that way because just before we hit land the
censor will take all our mail off of us and read it and cut out whatever
he don't like and then mail it himself. So I didn't know we had a censor
along with us but Lee says we certainly have got one and he is up in the
front ship and they call that the censor ship on acct. of him being on
there.
Well Al I don't care what he reads and what he don't read because I am
not the kind that spill anything about the trip that would hurt anybody
or get them in bad. So he is welcome to read anything I write you might
say.
This front ship is the slowest one of the whole four and how is that for
fine judgment Al to put the slowest one ahead and this ship we are on is
the fastest and they keep us behind instead of leaving us go up ahead
and set the pace for them and no wonder we never get nowheres. Of
course that ain't the censor's fault but if the old U. S. is in such a hurry
to get men across the pond I should think they would use some
judgment and its just like as if Hughey Jennings would stick Oscar
Stanage or somebody ahead of Cobb in the batting order so as Cobb
couldn't make to many bases on a hit.