The Real Dope

The Real Dope, by Ring Lardner

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Title: The Real Dope
Author: Ring Lardner
Release Date: February, 2005 [EBook #7405] [Yes, we are more than
one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on April 24,
2003]

Edition: 10
Language: English
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*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE REAL
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[Illustration: Well, Al, just as this was coming off her old man come at
me]
THE REAL DOPE,
By
RING W. LARDNER
AUTHOR OF
GULLIBLE'S TRAVELS, MY FOUR WEEKS IN FRANCE, TREAT
'EM ROUGH, ETC.
ILLUSTRATED BY
MAY WILSON PRESTON
AND
M. L. BLUMENTHAL
CHAPTER I

AND MANY A STORMY WIND SHALL BLOW
On the Ship Board, Jan. 15.
FRIEND AL: Well Al I suppose it is kind of foolish to be writeing you
a letter now when they won't be no chance to mail it till we get across
the old pond but still and all a man has got to do something to keep
themself busy and I know you will be glad to hear all about our trip so I
might as well write you a letter when ever I get a chance and I can mail
them to you all at once when we get across the old pond and you will
think I have wrote a book or something.
Jokeing a side Al you are lucky to have an old pal thats going to see all
the fun and write to you about it because its a different thing haveing a
person write to you about what they see themself then getting the dope
out of a newspaper or something because you will know that what I tell
you is the real dope that I seen myself where if you read it in a
newspaper you know its guest work because in the 1st. place they don't
leave the reporters get nowheres near the front and besides that they
wouldn't go there if they had a leave because they would be to scared
like the baseball reporters that sets a mile from the game because they
haven't got the nerve to get down on the field where a man could take a
punch at them and even when they are a mile away with a screen in
front of them they duck when somebody hits a pop foul.
Well Al it is against the rules to tell you when we left the old U. S. or
where we come away from because the pro German spy might get a
hold of a man's letter some way and then it would be good night
because he would send a telegram to where the submarines is located at
and they wouldn't send no 1 or 2 submarines after us but the whole
German navy would get after us because they would figure that if they
ever got us it would be a rich hall. When I say that Al I don't mean it to
sound like I was swell headed or something and I don't mean it would
be a rich hall because I am on board or nothing like that but you would
know what I am getting at if you seen the bunch we are takeing across.
In the 1st. place Al this is a different kind of a trip then the time I went
around the world with the 2 ball clubs because then it was just the 1

boat load and only for two or 3 of the boys on board it wouldn't of
made no difference if the boat had of turned a turtle only to pave the
whole bottom of the ocean with ivory. But this time Al we have got not
only 1 boat load but we got four boat loads of soldiers alone and that is
not all