The Psychical Researchers Tale - The Sceptical Poltergeist | Page 3

I must confess, however, that my observations at this point were not so accurate as they should have been, owing to the sudden realisation of my stupidity in not having brought a camera and flashlight apparatus. The Slipper-tons had prepared me for poltergeists, and I was, at that moment, distinctly annoyed at being confronted with what I presumed to be an entirely different class of phenomenon. Indeed, I was so annoyed that I was half inclined to blow out the candle and go to sleep. I wish, now, that I had....
The Psychical Researcher paused and sighed deeply. Then producing a large note-book from his pocket, he continued, despondently:
I have got it all down here, and when I come to material that necessitates verbal accuracy, I should prefer to read my notes aloud rather than give an indefinite summary. In the first place, however, I must give you some idea of the form that gradually materialised; of the form, that is, as I originally saw it.
It took the shape, I may say, of a smallish man, grotesquely pot-bellied, with very thin legs and arms. The eyes were disproportionately large and quite circular, with an expression that was at once both impish and pathetic. The ears were immense, and set at right angles to the head; the rest of the features indefinite. He was dressed rather in the fashion of a medieval page.
(The professor was heard to murmur, "The typical goblin," at this point, but made no further interruption.)
He sat with his feet crossed on the rail at the foot of the bed and appeared able to balance himself without difficulty. He had been sitting there for perhaps a couple of minutes, while I made various entries in my note-book before I tried the experiment of addressing him.
"Have you a message?" I asked. "If you cannot answer directly, knock once for 'No,' and three times for 'Yes,' and afterwards we can try the alphabet."
To my great surprise, however, he was able to use the direct voice. His tone was a trifle wheezy and thin at first, but afterwards gained power and clearness.
"I can hear you fairly well," he said. "Now do try to keep calm. It isn't often that one gets such a chance as this."
I will now read my notes.
Myself. "I am perfectly calm. Go on."
Spirit. "Will you try to answer my questions?"
The Researcher looked up from his note-book with a frown of impatience after reading these two entries, and said:
But perhaps I had better summarise our earlier conversation for you. There was, I may say, a somewhat long and distinctly complicated misunderstanding between myself and the spirit before the real interest of the message begins; a misunderstanding due to my complete misapprehension of our respective parts. You see, it is unhappily true--however much we may deplore the fact and try to guard against it--that even in psychical research we form habits of thought and method, but particularly of thought. And I had got into the habit of regarding communications from spirits as referring to what we assume to be the future life. Well, this communication didn't. The spirit with whom I was talking had not, in short, ever been incarnated. He was what the Spiritualists and Theosophists, and so on, call an "Elemental." And to him, I represented the future state. I was, so to speak, the communicating spirit and he the psychical researcher. He was, I inferred, very far advanced on his own plane and expecting very shortly to "pass over," as he put it. Also, I gathered that he was in his own world by way of being an intellectual; keenly interested in the future--that is, in our present state; and that the Slipperton phenomena were entirely due to the experiments he had been carrying out ("on strictly scientific lines," he assured me) to try and ascertain the conditions of life on this plane.
Perhaps I can, now, illustrate his attitude by a few quotations from our conversation. For example:
Spirit. "Are you happy where you are?"
Myself. "Moderately. At times. Some of us are."
Spirit. "Are you yourself happy?"
Myself. "I may say so. Yes."
Spirit. "What do you do? Try and give me some idea of life on your plane."
Myself. "It varies so immensely with the individual and the set in which one lives. But we--oh! we have a great variety of what we call 'interests' and occupations, and most of us, of course, have to work for our livings."
Spirit. "I don't understand that. What are your livings, and how do you work for them?"
Myself. "We can't live without food, you see. We have to eat and drink and sleep; protect ourselves against heat and cold and the weather generally, which means clothes and shelter--garments to wear and houses to live in, that is."
Spirit. "I have inferred something of this very vaguely