The Last American

J.A. Mitchell
The Last American

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Title: The Last American
Author: J. A. Mitchell
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The Last American
A Fragment from the journal of KHAN-LI, Prince of Dimph-Yoo-Chur
and Admiral in the Persian Navy presented by J. A. MITCHELL
EDITION DE LUXE Illustrated in Color by F. W. Read With
Decorative Designs by Albert D. Blashfield and Illustrations by the
Author
1889
TO THOSE THOUGHTFUL PERSIANS WHO CAN READ A
WARNING IN THE SUDDEN RISE AND SWIFT EXTINCTION OF
A FOOLISH PEOPLE THIS VOLUME IS DEDICATED
A FEW WORDS BY HEDFUL SURNAMED "THE AXIS OF
WISDOM" Curator of the Imperial Museum at Shiraz. Author of "The
Celestial Conquest of Kaly-phorn-ya," and of "Northern Mehrika under
the Hy-Bernyan Rulers"
The astounding discoveries of Khan-li of Dimph-yoo-chur have thrown
floods of light upon the domestic life of the Mehrikan people. He little
realized when he landed upon that sleeping continent what a service he
was about to render history, or what enthusiasm his discoveries would
arouse among Persian archaeologists.
Every student of antiquity is familiar with these facts.
But for the benefit of those who have yet to acquire a knowledge of this
extraordinary people, I advise, first, a visit to the Museum at Teheran in
order to excite their interest in the subject, and second, the reading of
such books as Nofuhl's "What we Found in the West," and Noz-yt-ahl's
"History of the Mehrikans." The last-named is a complete and reliable
history of these people from the birth of the Republic under
George-wash-yn-tun to the year 1990, when they ceased to exist as a
nation. I must say, however, that Noz-yt-ahl leaves the reader much
confused concerning the period between the massacre of the Protestants

in 1927, and the overflow of the Murfey dynasty in 1940.
He holds the opinion with many other historians that the Mehrikans
were a mongrel race, with little or no patriotism, and were purely
imitative; simply an enlarged copy of other nationalities extant at the
time. He pronounces them a shallow, nervous, extravagant people, and
accords them but few redeeming virtues. This, of course, is just; but
nevertheless they will always be an interesting study by reason of their
rapid growth, their vast numbers, their marvellous mechanical
ingenuity and their sudden and almost unaccountable disappearance.
The wealth, luxury, and gradual decline of the native population; the
frightful climatic changes which swept the country like a mower's
scythe; the rapid conversion of a vast continent, alive with millions of
pleasure-loving people, into a silent wilderness, where the sun and
moon look down in turn upon hundreds of weed-grown cities,--all this
is told by Noz-yt-ahl with force and accuracy.
"Here's Truth. 'Tis a bitter pill but good physic."

ABOARD THE ZLOTUHB IN THE YEAR 2951
10th May

There is land ahead!
Grip-til-lah was first to see it, and when he shouted the tidings my heart
beat fast with joy. The famished crew have forgotten their disconsolate
stomachs and are dancing about the deck. 'Tis not I, forsooth, who shall
restrain them! A month of emptiness upon a heavy sea is preparation
for any folly. Nofuhl alone is without enthusiasm. The old man's heart
seems dead.
We can see the land plainly, a dim strip along the western horizon. A
fair wind blows from the northeast, but we get on with cruel hindrance,
for the Zlotuhb is a heavy ship, her bluff bow and voluminous bottom
ill fitting her for speed.

11th May

Sighted a fine harbor this afternoon, and are now at anchor in it.
Grip-til-lah thinks we have reached one islands mentioned by

Ben-a-Bout.
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