The Girls Own Paper, Vol. VIII. No. 358, November 6, 1886 | Page 6

fritters and failed, and cook says you must try something easier;
you have read a little more of the book you discursed yesterday, and
done a little more of the painting, and when these subjects are disposed
of conversation flags.

You begin to find each other just a little, a very little dull, and it is
really a relief to meet a slighter acquaintance to whom you can tell the
whole history of the painting, or the last tennis party for the first time.
I do not believe that "familiarity breeds contempt" between people who
are worth knowing and loving, but I do think that girls are all the better
for having certain chambers in their hearts, into which even the special
"intimate" may not enter; and for being by herself at times, instead of
continually hunting up a companion, for hours which would otherwise
be solitary. Girls don't think enough, and how can they if they are
constantly in the company of those who think no more, and so seldom
by themselves.
You would become closer friends if you took time apart to progress
individually, each in the direction her character or opportunities point
out.
There may be something, too, of undue influence of two opposite
characters or tastes when both are young and pliable, but of this I do
not now speak.
And what is the end of the ordinary friendship of neighbourhood? One
of the girls leaves the place and gets elsewhere a new set of the little
social interests that bound them together. They are not worth writing
about, though they might have taken hours to talk them over, and
having less and less in common, her friends drift apart through lack of a
strong tie to bind them together, though, perhaps, they never quite drop.
A third and somewhat higher class of friendship is that formed over
association in work, or some deep common interest.
This will occur when girls meet to study some subject of real interest to
both, not for the mere sake of "doing something" after their school life
has closed, but for the earnest use to which they intend to put their
requirements.
It may be art in one of its branches, or music, which, indeed, is art, too.
One of the most delightful of friendships I ever heard of was cemented

over the task of acquiring the "accomplishment of verse."
Or two girls may throw themselves heart and soul into benevolent
Christian work, not, as I said before, for the mere sake of "doing
something," but because they really long to help their fellow-creatures
physically, morally, spiritually, for Christ's sake. Meeting in this way,
and fitted by natural character to be friends, they will probably become
so, and, unless some quarrel arise, caused by earnest difference of
opinion, will, I think, remain so longer than any I have mentioned
before.
And now I come to speak of what I must consider the most perfect
method on which a friendship can be formed. I mean the elective
friendship which depends on no accident of association or
neighbourhood, and is, to my mind, the most satisfying of all.
We cannot say what drew us to our friend. We met her for a few days at
a country house, or were introduced to her casually at a dinner-party.
Nothing in ordinary circumstances would have been more likely than to
part and meet no more. But we did not part; something had united
us--we felt we must see more of each other.
This attracting something lends a strange charm to friendship, and,
whether the two are alike or unlike, it matters little--they are sure to be
helpers and sympathisers, because, it seems to me, and I say it with all
reverence, this something which we cannot define is a God-given bond
of union. The two are meant to be friends--meant to act beneficially
upon each other; and, perhaps, because they cannot understand it or
reason over it, the tie proves stronger than they or anyone can break.
They may be thrown together in any of the ways I have suggested, but
with a difference; then neighbourhood, association, was the primary
element in the formation of the friendship; now it is secondary to the
elective attraction. Both feel that their souls would have come together
in whatever circumstances they had met.
I cannot think these elective friendships ever really cease, though a
quarrel, a misunderstanding may break them seemingly for ever. There

is a spiritual oneness which refuses to divide.
In conclusion, let me add one word about the bond of union which the
love of Christ makes. If that is in any friendship you need not fear its
dissolution. If few girls begin their youthful friendships with such a tie,
can they not, will they not strengthen