The Ghost of Jerry Bundler | Page 4

see the
real article as the old gentleman who's just gone.
HIRST (looking to L.). Old humbug! I should like to put him to the test.
(C.) (Bus.) I say, suppose I dress up as Jerry Bundler and go and give
him a chance of displaying his courage? I bet I'd make the old party sit
up.
MALCOLM. Capital!
BELDON. A good idea.
LEEK. I shouldn't, if I were you.
HIRST. Just for the joke, gentlemen (C.).

SOMERS. No, no--drop it, Hirst.
HIRST. Only for the joke. Look here, I've got some things that'll do
very well. We're going to have some amateur theatricals at my house.
We're doing a couple of scenes from "The Rivals," Somers, (pointing to
SOMERS) and I have been up to town to get the costumes, wigs, etc.,
to-day. I've got them up-stairs--knee-breeches, stockings, buckled shoes,
and all that sort of thing. It's a rare chance. If you wait a bit, I'll give
you a full dress rehearsal, entitled "Jerry Bundler, or the Nocturnal
Stranger." (At door L.).
LEEK (sneeringly). You won't frighten us, will you?
HIRST. I don't know so much about that--it's a question of acting, that's
all.
MALCOLM. I'll bet you a level sov, you don't frighten me.
HIRST (quietly). A level sov. (Pauses.) Done. I'll take the bet to
frighten you first, and the old boy afterwards. These gentlemen shall be
the judges. (Points to LEEK and BELDON.)
BELDON (up C.). You won't frighten us because we're prepared for
you, but you'd better leave the old man alone. It's dangerous play.
(Appeals to LEEK).
HIRST. Well, I'll try you first. (Moves to door and pauses.) No gas,
mind.
OMNES. No! no!
HIRST (laughs). I'll give you a run for your money.
(GEORGE enters, holds door open.)
(Exit HIRST.)
(GEORGE passes drinks round. Five drinks. SOMERS takes the one
ordered for HIRST and puts it on the table R. BELDON sits R. C.

GEORGE crosses to table, puts two drinks down, goes to fire and gives
drinks, then up to table, puts tray down, takes up glass and begins to
wipe it, gets down L. for lines.)
LEEK (to MALCOLM). I think you'll win your bet, sir, but I vote we
give him a chance. Suppose we have cigars round, and if he's not back
by the time we've finished them I must be off, as I have a quarter of an
hour's walk before me. (Looks at watch.) He's a friend of yours, isn't
he?
SOMERS. Yes, I have known him a good many years now, and I must
say he's a rum chap; just crazy about acting and practical joking,
though I've often told him he carries the latter too far at times. In this
case it doesn't matter, but I won't let him try it on the old gentleman.
You see we know what he's going to do, and are prepared, but he
doesn't, and it might lead to illness or worse; the old chap's sixty-two
and such a shock might have serious consequences. But Hirst won't
mind giving up that part of it, so long as he gets an opportunity of
acting to us.
LEEK (knocks pipe on grate). Well, I hope he'll hurry up. It's getting
pretty late. (To SOMERS.)
MALCOLM. Well, gentlemen, your health!
SOMERS. Good luck.
LEEK. Hurrah!
BELDON. Chin-chin!
LEEK. By the way, how is it you happen to be here to-night?
SOMERS. Oh, we missed the connection at Tolleston Junction and as
the accommodation at the Railway Arms there was rather meagre, the
Station Master advised us to drive on here, put up for the night, and
catch the Great Northern express from Exton in the morning. (Rises,
crosses to L.) Oh, George, that reminds me--you might see that 'Boots'

calls us at 7 sharp.
(BELDON rises, goes up to them to fire.)
GEORGE. Certainly, sir. What are your numbers?
SOMERS. 13 and 14.
GEORGE. I'll put it on the slate, special, sir. (Goes to door L.)
LEEK. I beg pardon, gentlemen, I forgot the cigars; George, bring
some cigars back with you.
BELDON. A very mild one for me.
GEORGE. Very well, sir. (Takes up tray from sideboard.)
(Exit L.)
(SOMERS sits R. C.)
MALCOLM. I think you were very wise coming on here. (Sits on settle
R.) I stayed at the Railway Arms, Tolleston, once--never again though.
Is your friend clever at acting?
SOMERS. I don't think he's clever enough to frighten you. I'm to spend
Christmas at his place, and he's asked me to assist at the theatricals he
spoke of. Nothing would satisfy him till I consented, and I must
honestly say I am very sorry I ever did, for I expect I shall be pretty bad.
I know I have scarcely slept a wink these last few nights, trying to get