The Four Million

The Four Million
by O Henry

~Not very long ago some one invented the assertion that there were
only "Four Hundred" people in New York City who were really worth
noticing. But a wiser man has arisen--the census taker--and his larger
estimate of human interest has been preferred in marking out the field
of these little stories of the "Four Million."~

Contents:
TOBIN'S PALM THE GIFT OF THE MAGI A COSMOPOLITE IN A
CAFE BETWEEN ROUNDS THE SKYLIGHT ROOM A SERVICE
OF LOVE THE COMING-OUT OF MAGGIE MAN ABOUT TOWN
THE COP AND THE ANTHEM AN ADJUSTMENT OF NATURE
MEMOIRS OF A YELLOW DOG THE LOVE-PHILTRE OF IKEY
SCHOENSTEIN MAMMON AND THE ARCHER SPRINGTIME A
LA CARTE THE GREEN DOOR FROM THE CABBY'S SEAT AN
UNFINISHED STORY THE CALIPH, CUPID AND THE CLOCK
SISTERS OF THE GOLDEN CIRCLE THE ROMANCE OF A BUSY
BROKER AFTER TWENTY YEARS LOST ON DRESS PARADE
BY COURIER THE FURNISHED ROOM THE BRIEF DEBUT OF
TILDY

TOBIN'S PALM
Tobin and me, the two of us, went down to Coney one day, for there
was four dollars between us, and Tobin had need of distractions. For

there was Katie Mahorner, his sweetheart, of County Sligo, lost since
she started for America three months before with two hundred dollars,
her own savings, and one hundred dollars from the sale of Tobin's
inherited estate, a fine cottage and pig on the Bog Shannaugh. And
since the letter that Tobin got saying that she had started to come to
him not a bit of news had he heard or seen of Katie Mahorner. Tobin
advertised in the papers, but nothing could be found of the colleen.
So, to Coney me and Tobin went, thinking that a turn at the chutes and
the smell of the popcorn might raise the heart in his bosom. But Tobin
was a hardheaded man, and the sadness stuck in his skin. He ground his
teeth at the crying balloons; he cursed the moving pictures; and, though
he would drink whenever asked, he scorned Punch and Judy, and was
for licking the tintype men as they came.
So I gets him down a side way on a board walk where the attractions
were some less violent. At a little six by eight stall Tobin halts, with a
more human look in his eye.
"'Tis here," says he, "I will be diverted. I'll have the palm of me hand
investigated by the wonderful palmist of the Nile, and see if what is to
be will be."
Tobin was a believer in signs and the unnatural in nature. He possessed
illegal convictions in his mind along the subjects of black cats, lucky
numbers, and the weather predictions in the papers.
We went into the enchanted chicken coop, which was fixed mysterious
with red cloth and pictures of hands with lines crossing 'em like a
railroad centre. The sign over the door says it is Madame Zozo the
Egyptian Palmist. There was a fat woman inside in a red jumper with
pothooks and beasties embroidered upon it. Tobin gives her ten cents
and extends one of his hands. She lifts Tohin's hand, which is own
brother to the hoof of a drayhorse, and examines it to see whether 'tis a
stone in the frog or a cast shoe he has come for.
"Man," says this Madame Zozo, "the line of your fate shows--"

"Tis not me foot at all," says Tobin, interrupting. "Sure, 'tis no beauty,
but ye hold the palm of me hand."
"The line shows," says the Madame, "that ye've not arrived at your time
of life without bad luck. And there's more to come. The mound of
Venus--or is that a stone bruise?--shows that ye've been in love. There's
been trouble in your life on account of your sweetheart."
"'Tis Katie Mahorner she has references with," whispers Tobin to me in
a loud voice to one side.
"I see," says the palmist, "a great deal of sorrow and tribulation with
one whom ye cannot forget. I see the lines of designation point to the
letter K and the letter M in her name."
"Whist!" says Tobin to me, "do ye hear that?"
"Look out," goes on the palmist, "for a dark man and a light woman;
for they'll both bring ye trouble. Ye'll make a voyage upon the water
very soon, and have a financial loss. I see one line that brings good luck.
There's a man coming into your life who will fetch ye good fortune.
Ye'll know him when ye see him by his crooked nose."
"Is his name set down?" asks Tobin. "'Twill be convenient in the way
of greeting when he backs up to dump off the good luck."
"His name," says the palmist, thoughtful looking, "is not spelled out