The Blunders of a Bashful Man | Page 3

embarrassment to have people asking if one has burned oneself, and
feeling that one has broken a cup out of a lady's best china tea-set. But
about tea and tea-parties I shall have more to say hereafter. I must hurry
on to my first picnic, where I made my first public appearance as the
Bashful Man.
I made a neat toilet--a fresh, light summer suit that I flattered myself
beat any other set of clothes in Babbletown--ordered Joe, our chore-boy,
to bring the buggy around in good order, with everything shining; and
when he had done so, had the horse tied in front of the store.
"Come, my boy," said father, after a while, "it's ten minutes to ten.
Never keep the ladies waiting."
"Yes, sir; as soon as I've put these raisins away."
"Five minutes to ten, John. Don't forget the lemons."
"No, sir." But I did forget them in my trepidation, and a man had to be
sent back for them afterward.
It was just ten when I stepped into the buggy with an attempt to appear
in high spirits. As I drove slowly toward Squire Marigold's large
mansion on Main Street, I met dozens of gay young folks on the way
out of town, some of them calling out that I would be late, and to try
and catch up with them after I got my girl.

As I came in sight of the house my courage failed. I turned off on a
by-street, drove around nearly half a mile, and finally approached the
object of my dread from another direction. I do believe I should have
passed the house after I got to it had I not seen a vision of pink ribbons,
white dress, and black eyes at the window, and realized that I was
observed. So I touched the horse with the whip, drove up with a
flourish, and before I had fairly pulled up at the block, Belle was at the
door, with a servant behind her carrying a hamper.
"You are late, Mr. Flutter," she called out, half gayly, half crossly.
I arose from the seat, flung down the reins, and leaped out, like a
flying-fish out of the water, to hand the beautiful apparition in. In my
nervousness I did not observe how I placed the lines, my foot became
entangled in them, I was brought up in the most unexpected manner,
landing on the pavement on my new hat instead of the soles of my
boots.
This was not only embarrassing, but positively painful. There was a
bump on my forehead, the rim of my hat was crushed, my new suit was
soiled, my knee ached like Jericho, and there was a rent in my
pantaloons right opposite where my knee hurt.
Belle tittered, the colored girl stuffed her apron in her mouth, and said
"hi! hi!" behind it. I would have given all I had in life to give if I could
have started on an exploring expedition for China just then, but I
couldn't. The pavement was not constructed with reference to
swallowing up bashful young men who wanted to be swallowed.
"I hope you are not hurt, Mr. Flutter, te-he?"
"Oh, not at all, not in the least; it never hurts me to fall. It was those
constricted reins, they caught my foot. Does the basket go with us? I
mean the servant. No, I don't, I mean the basket--does she go with us?"
"The hamper does, Mr. Flutter, or we should be minus sandwiches.
Jane, put the hamper in."

Miss Marigold was in the buggy before I had straightened my hat-rim.
"I hope your horse is a fast one; we shall be late," she remarked, as I
took my place by her side. "Here is a pin, Mr. Flutter; you can pin up
that tear."
I was glad she asked me to let the horse go at full speed; it was the
most soothing thing which could happen at that time. As he flew along
I could affect to be busy with the cares of driving, and so escape the
trials of conversation. I spoke to my lovely companion only three times
in the eight miles between her house and the grove. The first time I
remarked, "We are going to have a warm day"; the second, "I think the
day will be quite warm"; the third time I launched out boldly: "Don't
you think, Miss Marigold, we shall have it rather warm about noon?"
"You seem to feel the heat more than I do," she answered, demurely,
which was true, for she looked as cool as a cucumber and as
comfortable as a mouse in a cheese, while I was mopping my face
every other minute with my handkerchief.
When we reached the picnic grounds she offered