The Art Of Approaching Women[1] | Page 8

the group first. In
every group, there is usually someone who takes charge and leads the
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The Art of Approaching
group in its decision making. You can always tell who the leader is
because it’s usually one of two kinds of people:
• A very assertive and outgoing woman
• A guy

For instance, if you see two girls walking through a club, and they’re
holding hands as they make their way through the crowd, the girl taking
the lead will be the leader. By contrast, in a group of three or more
women, the one talking the most or the loudest is usually the leader.
In groups with men in them, they are, by default, the “leaders,” simply by
contrast between the sexes. In this case, you don’t have to figure out who
the most “Alpha” of the guys are and open him first, the opening of any
guy in the group will do.
If your target is the leader of your group, don’t open her right away. Open
one of your obstacles and let the leader engage you, then turn your
attention to her.
The reason you want to try and Open the leader of a group is because the
Leader is your biggest obstacle. If they decide the group should do
something else other than talk to you, the group is going to do that and
your conversation is going to die a quick and painful death.
Once you have opened the leader, make an attempt to engage each one of
the other obstacles in the group. Tell the group a funny story, show them
you’re a cool guy, entertain them, and befriend them. Once the group
accepts you, turn your attention to your target.
You want to get to your target last, because not only will that deter any
notion that you’re overtly interested in them, but once the group accepts
you, your target will be forced to accept you without resistance, because
you already won over her peer group. This is what Mystery likes to call
“social proof,” which is when you raise your perceived social value by
showing that other people find you valuable in some way.
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So to break down the strategy for group approaches:
• Find a Group to Approach
• Determine who your Target is
• Determine who your Obstacles are
• Determine who the Leader is
• Approach the Leader or the Obstacles
• Open the Leader or the Obstacles
• Become accepted by the Group
• Open your Target

When you have the ability to open groups of people, your social
interactions will become more numerous, because of the fact that most
people travel in groups. This is the most important skill to acquire if you
want to be able to meet the woman of your dreams no matter where you
may be.
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The Art of Approaching
After the Approach
Something you’ll want to be aware of is what to say AFTER you have
successfully opened your target.
This book isn’t going to cover this topic, but I will touch on it because
knowing what to follow up with is just as important (if not MORE
important) than knowing what to Open with.
For every Opener you have, be sure to have a good story to follow it up
with. Being able to transition from one story, thought, or opinion to
another is crucial to holding a great conversation. Some might be tempted
to say “But I don’t have any good stories!” But any story can be a good
one if told correctly. Also, the idea that our lives are all boring is a
mistaken one. Things happen to us every day that might not stand out in
our minds, but that other people find interesting. The trick is remembering
funny or dramatic things that have happened to you in the past and sharing
them with others in an interesting way. If you are passionate about your
stories, others will be as well.
You can also add what is called “Stacking Openers” to your skill set. This
is where you use one Opener after another, and continue to do so until the
conclusion of the conversation. This is especially powerful if you have
stories that follow these Openers.
Although stories are important, attitude is also a big factor in meeting and
dating women. A good foundation to help you get started with this is an e-
book I recommend called “Double Your Dating,” which can be found at
www.doubleyourdating.com. The book’s authors, David DeAngelo, lays
out some great concepts to help you become the kind of guy women love
to