Tales and Novels, vol 6 | Page 6

lord," continued Mordicai--
But the familiarity of the phrase. "Between ourselves"--this implication
of equality--Lord Colambre could not admit: he moved hastily towards
the door, and departed.

CHAPTER II.

Full of what he had heard, and impatient to obtain farther information
respecting the state of his father's affairs, Lord Colambre hastened
home; but his father was out, and his mother was engaged with Mr.
Soho, directing, or rather being directed, how her apartments should be
fitted up for her gala. As Lord Colambre entered the room, he saw his
mother, Miss Nugent, and Mr. Soho, standing at a large table, which
was covered with rolls of paper, patterns, and drawings of furniture: Mr.
Soho was speaking in a conceited, dictatorial tone, asserting that there
was no "colour in nature for that room equal to _the belly-o'-the
fawn_;" which _belly-o'-the fawn_ he so pronounced, that Lady
Clonbrony understood it to be la belle uniforme, and, under this
mistake, repeated and assented to the assertion, till it was set to rights,
with condescending superiority, by the upholsterer. This first
architectural upholsterer of the age, as he styled himself, and was
universally admitted to be by all the world of fashion, then, with full
powers given to him, spoke _en maître_. The whole face of things must
be changed. There must be new hangings, new draperies, new cornices,
new candelabras, new every thing!--
"The upholsterer's eye, in fine frenzy rolling, Glances from ceiling to
floor, from floor to ceiling; And, as imagination bodies forth The form
of things unknown, the upholsterer's pencil Turns them to shape, and
gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a NAME."
Of the value of a NAME no one could be more sensible than Mr. Soho.
"Your la'ship sees--this is merely a scratch of my pencil. Your la'ship's
sensible--just to give you an idea of the shape, the form of the thing.
You fill up your angles here with _encoinières_--round your walls with
the _Turkish tent drapery_--a fancy of my own--in apricot cloth, or
crimson velvet, suppose, or, en flute, in crimson satin draperies, fanned
and riched with gold fringes, _en suite_--intermediate spaces, Apollo's
head with gold rays--and here, ma'am, you place four _chancelières_,
with chimeras at the corners, covered with blue silk and silver fringe,
elegantly fanciful--with my STATIRA CANOPY here--light blue silk
draperies--aërial tint, with silver balls--and for seats here, the
SERAGLIO OTTOMANS, superfine scarlet--your

paws--griffin--golden--and golden tripods, here, with antique
cranes--and oriental alabaster tables here and there--quite appropriate,
your la'ship feels.
"And let me reflect. For the next apartment, it strikes me--as your
la'ship don't value expense--the _Alhambra hangings_--my own
thought entirely--Now, before I unrol them, Lady Clonbrony, I must
beg you'll not mention I've shown them. I give you my sacred honour,
not a soul has set eye upon the Alhambra hangings except Mrs.
Dareville, who stole a peep; I refused, absolutely refused, the Duchess
of Torcaster--but I can't refuse your la'ship--So see, ma'am-- (unrolling
them)--scagliola porphyry columns supporting the grand
dome--entablature, silvered and decorated with imitative bronze
ornaments: under the entablature, a valence in pelmets, of puffed scarlet
silk, would have an unparalleled grand effect, seen through the
arches--with the TREBISOND TRELLICE PAPER, Would make a
tout ensemble, novel beyond example. On that trebisond trellice paper,
I confess, ladies, I do pique myself.
"Then, for the little room, I recommend turning it temporarily into a
Chinese pagoda, with this Chinese pagoda paper, with the porcelain
border, and josses, and jars, and beakers, to match; and I can venture to
promise one vase of pre-eminent size and beauty.--Oh, indubitably! if
your la'ship prefers it, you can have the Egyptian hieroglyphic paper,
with the ibis border to match!--The only objection is, one sees it every
where--quite antediluvian--gone to the hotels even; but, to be sure, if
your la'ship has a fancy--at all events, I humbly recommend, what her
grace of Torcaster longs to patronise, my MOON CURTAINS, with
candlelight draperies. A demi-saison elegance this--I hit off
yesterday--and--True, your la'ship's quite correct--out of the common
completely. And, of course, you'd have the sphynx candelabras, and the
phoenix argands--Oh! nothing else lights now,
ma'am!--Expense!--Expense of the whole!--Impossible to calculate
here on the spot!--but nothing at all worth your ladyship's
consideration!"
At another moment, Lord Colambre might have been amused with all

this rhodomontade, and with the airs and voluble conceit of the orator;
but, after what he had heard at Mr. Mordicai's, this whole scene struck
him more with melancholy than with mirth. He was alarmed by the
prospect of new and unbounded expense; provoked, almost past
enduring, by the jargon and impertinence of this upholsterer; mortified
and vexed to the heart, to see his mother the dupe, the sport of such a
coxcomb.
"Prince of puppies!--Insufferable!--My own mother!" Lord Colambre
repeated to himself, as he walked hastily up