Roughing it De Luxe

Roughing it De Luxe, by Irvin S.
Cobb

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Title: Roughing it De Luxe
Author: Irvin S. Cobb
Illustrator: John T. McCutcheon
Release Date: October 6, 2006 [EBook #19479]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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ROUGHING IT DE LUXE ***

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Roughing It De Luxe By Irvin S. Cobb

[Illustration: BY COMMON CONSENT WE HAD NAMED THEM
CLARENCE AND CLARICE]

Roughing It De Luxe By Irvin S. Cobb
Author of "Back Home," "The Escape of Mr. Trimm," "Cobb's
Anatomy," "Cobb's Bill of Fare," etc.
Illustrated by John T. McCutcheon
[Illustration]
New York George H. Doran Company

COPYRIGHT, 1913, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
COPYRIGHT, 1914, BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY

TO GEORGE H. DORAN, ESQ. MY FRIEND AND STILL MY
PUBLISHER; MY PUBLISHER AND STILL MY FRIEND

THE TIME TABLE
PAGE A PILGRIM CANONIZED 15 RABID AND HIS FRIENDS 55
HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CLIMATE? 97 IN THE HAUNT OF THE
NATIVE SON 135 LOOKING FOR LO 175

ILLUSTRATIONS
PAGE By common consent we had named them Clarence and Clarice

Frontispiece Evidently he believed the conspiracy against him was
widespread 21 There was not a turkey trotter in the bunch 35 He'd
garner in some fellows that wasn't sheep-herders 61 Because a man has
a soul is no reason he shouldn't have an appetite 73 He was a regular
moving picture cowboy and gave general satisfaction 87 The boy who
sells you a paper and the youth who blackens your shoes both show
solicitude 101 Out from under a rock somewhere will crawl a real
estate agent 115 He felt that he was properly dressed for the time, the
place and the occasion 127 Even the place where the turkey trot
originated was trotless and quiet 143 The woman nearest the wall has
on her furs--it is always cool in the shade 155 It's a great thing out there
to be a native son 169 Each Navajo squaw weaves on an average nine
thousand blankets a year 179 As she leveled the lens a yell went up
from somewhere 193 As the occupants spilled sprawlingly through the
gap, a front tire exploded with a loud report 207

A PILGRIM CANONIZED
[Illustration]
A Pilgrim Canonized
IT is generally conceded that the Grand Cañon of Arizona beggars
description. I shall therefore endeavor to refrain from doing so. I realize
that this is going to be a considerable contract. Nearly everybody, on
taking a first look at the Grand Cañon, comes right out and admits its
wonders are absolutely indescribable--and then proceeds to write
anywhere from two thousand to fifty thousand words, giving the full
details. Speaking personally, I wish to say that I do not know anybody
who has yet succeeded in getting away with the job.
In the old days when he was doing the literature for the Barnum show,
Tody Hamilton would have made the best nominee I can think of.
Remember, don't you, how when Tody started in to write about the
elephant quadrille you had to turn over to the next page to find the verb?
And almost any one of those young fellows who write advertising

folders for the railroads would gladly tackle the assignment; in fact,
some of them already have--but not with any tumultuous success.
In the presence of the Grand Cañon, language just simply fails you and
all the parts of speech go dead lame. When the Creator made it He
failed to make a word to cover it. To that extent the thing is incomplete.
If ever I run across a person who can put down on paper what the
Grand Cañon looks like, that party will be my choice to do the story
when the Crack of Doom occurs. I can close my eyes now and see the
headlines: Judgment Day a Complete Success! Replete with Incident
and Abounding in Surprises--Many Wealthy Families
Disappointed--Full Particulars from our Special Correspondent on the
Spot!
Starting out from Chicago on the Santa Fé, we had a full trainload. We
came from everywhere: from peaceful New England towns full of elm
trees and oldline Republicans; from the Middle States; and from the
land of chewing tobacco, prominent Adam's apples and hot
biscuits--down where the r is silent, as in No'th Ca'lina. And all of
us--Northerners, Southerners, Easterners alike--were actuated by a
common purpose--we