Punch, or the London Charivari

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Punch, or the London Charivari,
Volume 158, March 17, 1920

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March 17, 1920, by Various, Edited by Owen Seaman
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Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, March 17, 1920
Author: Various
Release Date: April 13, 2005 [eBook #15615]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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VOL. 158
MARCH 17, 1920

PRINCE ALBERT JOACHIM, it appears, did not take part in the
attack on a French officer at the Hotel Adlon, but only gave the signal.
Always the little Hohenzollern!
It seems that at the last moment Mr. C. B. COCHRAN broke off
negotiations for the exclusive right to organise the CARPENTIER
"Will Scotland go dry?" asks The Daily Express. Not on purpose, we
A new method of stopping an omnibus by a foot-lever has been
patented. This is much better than the old plan of shaking one's
umbrella at them.

Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, we read, makes a study of handwriting. The
only objection that The Times has to this habit is that he positively
refuses to notice the writing on the wall.
It is rumoured that the Government will construct an experimental
tunnel between England and the United States in order (1) to cement
Anglo-American friendship, and (2) to ascertain if the Channel Tunnel
is practicable.
Dr. C.W. COLBY, head of the Department of History, has taken Sir
AUCLAND GEDDES' place as Principal of McGill University. The
report that Sir AUCKLAND will reciprocate by taking a place in
history awaits confirmation.
"It is quite usual nowadays," a well-known auctioneer states, "for mill
hands to keep a few orchids." We understand that by way of a
counter-stroke a number of noblemen are threatening to go in for
runner ducks.
A Rotherham couple who have just celebrated their diamond wedding
have never tasted medicine. We ourselves have always maintained that
the taste is an acquired one.
A Greenland falcon has been shot in the Orkneys. The view is widely
taken that the wretched bird, which must have known it wasn't in
Greenland, brought the trouble on itself.

An alleged anarchist arrested in Munich was identified as a poet and
found Not Guilty--not guilty, that is to say, of being an anarchist.
With reference to the pending retirement of Mr. ROBERT SMILLIE
from the Presidency of the Miners' Federation, it appears that there is
talk of arranging a farewell strike.
The Berlin Vorwaerts states that ex-Emperor CARL has been
discovered in Hungary under an assumed name. The Hungarian
authorities say that unless he is claimed within three days he will be
sold to defray expenses.
We understand that Mr. Justice DARLING'S weekly denial of the
reports of his retirement will in future be issued on Tuesdays, instead of
Wednesdays, as hitherto.
When hit by a bullet a tiger roars until dead, says a weekly paper, but a
tigress dies quietly. Nervous people who suffer from headaches should
therefore only shoot tigresses.
Two out of ten houses being built at Guildford are now complete.
Builders in other parts of the country are asking who gave the word
"Marvellous to relate," says a Sunday paper, "a horse has just died at
Ingatestone at the age of thirty-six." Surely it is more marvellous that it
did not die before.

It is said that the Paris Peace Conference cost two million pounds. The
latest suggestion is that, before the next war starts, tenders for a Peace
Conference shall be asked for and the lowest estimate accepted.
A Walsall carter has summoned a fellow-worker because during a
quarrel he stepped on his face. It was not so much that he had stepped
on his face, we understand, as the fact that he had loitered about on it.
A painful mistake is reported from North London. It appears that a
young lady who went to a fancy-dress ball as "The Silent Wife" was
awarded the first prize for her clever impersonation of a telephone girl.
We are glad to learn that the thoughtless tradesman who, in spite of the
notice, "Please
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