Punch, Or The London Charivari | Page 7

reddy to
receive any number of subskripshuns at 30, New Bridge Street, E.C.
ROBERT.
* * * * *
A NEW PROVIDENCE.--"My life is in your hands," as the
Autobiographist said to his Publisher.
* * * * *
THE JOLLY YOUNG WATERMAN.
(_LATEST VERSION; SUGGESTED BY A CASE AT THE
LONDON SESSIONS._)
And did you not hear of a jolly young Waterman, Who on the river his
wherry did ply? When rowing along with great skill and dexterity, A
Cask of Madeira it caught his pleased eye. It looked so nice, he rowed
up steadily, Transferred that cask to his boat right readily; And he eyed
the dear drink with so eager an air, For the name on the cask not a jot
did he care.
When smart EDDARD SAILL got that cask in his wherry, He cleaned
it out--partly--with swiggings not small, And with his

companions--what wonder?--made merry; Madeira's a wine that's not
tippled by all. One fancies one hears 'em a laughing and cheering, Says
EDDARD, "My boys, this is better than beering! A Waterman's life
would be free from all care If he often dropped on treasure trove like
that there."
And yet but to think now how strangely things happen! They copped
him for "larceny by finding,"--that's all! But SAILL couldn't read, and
the jury was kindly, So EDDARD got off, though his chance appeared
small. Now would this young Waterman keep out of sorrow, No
derelict casks let him--shall we say, borrow? Madeira is nice, but you'd
best have a care, Before swigging the wine, that it's yours fair and
square!
* * * * *
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
The Childhood and Youth of Dickens, a sort of short postscript to
FORSTER's Life, very well got up by its publishers HUTCHINSON &
Co., will interest those who for the third or fourth time are going
through a course of DICKENS.
[Illustration]
The Baron is an amateur of pocket-books and note-books. The best
pocket-book must contain a calendar-diary, and as little printed matter,
and as much space for notes, as possible. No pocket-book is perfect
without some sort of patent pencil, of which the writing-metal, when
used on a damp surface, will serve as well as do pen and ink on
ordinary paper. Such a pocket-book with such a pencil the Baron has
long had in use, the product of JOHN WALKER & Co., of Farringdon
House. It should be called _The Walker Pocket-book, or Pedestrian's
Companion_; for, as "He who runs may read," so, with this handy
combination, "He who walks may write." The Baron is led to mention
this _à propos_ of a novelty by T.J. SMITH AND DOWNES, called
_The Self-registering Pocket Note-book_, a very neat invention, _quâ_
Note-book only, but of which only one size has the invaluable patent

pencil. The ordinary pencil entails carrying a knife, and, though this is
good for the cutler--"I know that man, he comes from Sheffield"--yet it
is a defect which is a constant source of worry to the ordinary
note-taker. Otherwise, Messrs. SMITH AND DOWNES' artfulness in
making the pencil serve as a marker, so that the latest note can at once
be found, is decidedly ingenious, and may probably be found most
useful. _Experientia docet: Baronius tentabit._
While on the subject of pocket-books, the Baron must thank Messrs.
CASSELL & Co. for the pocket volumes of the National Library edited
by HENRY MORLEY, and ventures to recommend as a real travelling
companion, _Essays, Civil and Moral, by Francis Bacon_. In the
eighteenth Essay "Of Travel," the chief Diarists, "LETTS AND SON,"
might find a motto for their publications. The Baron directs their
attention to this side of BACON from which this is a slice,--"_Let
Diaries, therefore, be brought in use_." A new reading for advertising
purposes would change "Let" into "Letts," or Letts could be
interpolated in brackets. "A cheeky way of treating BACON," says the
Baron's friend little FUNNIMAN (Author of _Funniman's Poor Jokes_);
but, if nothing worse than this can be said against the Baron's
suggestion, why, "Letts adopt it," says
THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.
* * * * *
[Illustration: MOMENTS WHEN LIFE IS REALLY WORTH
LIVING.
(_The Annual Visit to the Family Dentist._)
"WELL, MY DEAR YOUNG LADY, I'VE LOOKED VERY
CAREFULLY, AND THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR ME
TO DO TO YOU THIS YEAR!"]
* * * * *
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL.

"In the words of the Postmaster-General, spoken yesterday (March 18th)
from his room in St. Martin's-le-Grand, and distinctly heard by the head
of a corresponding department in Paris, the triumph of the International
Telephone is an accomplished fact."--Daily News.
_Hallo!--are you there_? That's the cue international, Henceforth we'll
hope, and we trust it may lead To colloquies pleasant, relations more
rational. May "saucers" and tubes telephonic succeed In setting the
world