Pipefuls | Page 5

on cider,
tracing its etymology from the old Hebrew word shaker meaning "to
quaff deeply"--maintains that cider should only be drunk beside an
open fire of applewood logs:
And preferably on an evening of storm and wetness, when the swish
and sudden pattering of rain against the panes lend an added agreeable
snugness to the cheerful scene within, where master and dame sit by the
rosy hearth frying sausages in a pan laid on the embers.
This reminds one of the anecdote related by ex-Senator Beveridge in
his Life of John Marshall. Justice Story told his wife that the justices of
the Supreme Court were of a self-denying habit, never taking wine
except in wet weather. "But it does sometimes happen that the Chief
Justice will say to me, when the cloth is removed, 'Brother Story, step
to the window and see if it does not look like rain.' And if I tell him that
the sun is shining brightly, Judge Marshall will sometimes reply, 'All
the better, for our jurisdiction extends over so large a territory that the
doctrine of chances makes it certain that it must be raining
somewhere.'"
Our own theory about cider is that the time to drink it is when it

reaches you; and if it hails from Chester County, so much the better.
We remember with gusto a little soliloquy on cider delivered by
another friend of ours, as we both stood in a decent ordinary on Fulton
Street, going through all the motions of jocularity and cheer. Cider (he
said) is our refuge and strength. Cider, he insisted, drawing from his
pocket a clipping much tarnished with age, is a drink for men of reason
and genteel nurture; a drink for such as desire to drink pleasantly,
amiably, healthily, and with perseverance and yet retain the command
and superintendence of their faculties. I have here (he continued) a
clipping sent me by an eminent architect in the great city of
Philadelphia (a city which it is a pleasure for me to contemplate by
reason of the beauty and virtue of its women, the infinite vivacity and
good temper of its men, the rectitudinal disposition of its highways)--I
have here (he exclaimed) a clipping sent me by an architect of fame,
charming parts, and infinite cellarage, explaining the virtues of cider.
Cider, this clipping asserts, produces a clearness of the complexion. It
brightens the eye, particularly in women, conducing to the composition
of generous compliment and all the social suavity that endears the
intercourse of the sexes. Longevity, this extract maintains, is the result
of application to good cider. The Rev. Martin Johnson, vicar of Dilwyn,
in Herefordshire, from 1651 to 1698 (he read from his clipping), wrote:
This parish, wherein sider is plentiful, hath many people that do enjoy
this blessing of long life; neither are the aged bedridden or decrepit as
elsewhere; next to God, wee ascribe it to our flourishing orchards, first
that the bloomed trees in spring do not only sweeten but purify the
ambient air; next, that they yield us plenty of rich and winy liquors,
which do conduce very much to the constant health of our inhabitants.
Their ordinary course is to breakfast and sup with toast and sider
through the whole Lent; which heightens their appetites and creates in
them durable strength to labour.
There was a pause, and our friend (he is a man of girth and with a brow
bearing all the candor of a life of intense thought) leaned against the
mahogany counter.
That is very fine, we said, draining our chalice, and feeling brightness

of eye, length of years, and durable strength to labour added to our
person. In the meantime (we said) why do you not drink the rich and
winy liquor which your vessel contains?
He folded up his clipping and put it away with a sigh.
I always have to read that first, he said, to make the damned stuff
palatable. It will be ten years, he said, before the friend who sent me
that clipping will have to drink any cider.

ONE-NIGHT STANDS
[Illustration]
To those looking for an exhilarating vacation let us commend a week of
"trouping" on one-night stands with a theatrical company, which
mirthful experience has just been ours. We went along in the very
lowly capacity of co-author, which placed us somewhat beneath the
stage hands as far as dignity was concerned; and we flatter ourself that
we have learned our station and observe it with due humility. The first
task of the director who stages a play is to let the author know where he
gets off. This was accomplished in our case by an argument concerning
a speech in the play where one of the characters remarks, "I propose to
send a mental message