Perfect Behavior | Page 9

make me sick--they seem to think that
in our generation every time a young man and woman are left alone on
a lounge together, they haven't a thing better to do than put out the light
and "pet.' It's disgusting, isn't it?" "Isn't it?" she agrees and reaching
over she accidentally pulls the lamp cord, which puts out the light.
On your first visit you should not stay after 12:30.
THE PROPOSAL PROPER
About the second or third month of a formal courtship it is customary
for the man to propose matrimony, and if the girl has been "out" for
three or four years and has several younger sisters coming along, it is
customary for her to accept him. They then become "engaged," and the
courtship is concluded.
CHAPTER TWO
: THE ETIQUETTE OF ENGAGEMENTS AND WEDDINGS

THE HISTORIC ASPECT
"Matrimony," sings Homer, the poet, "is a holy estate and not lightly to
be entered into." The "old Roman" is right.
A modern wedding is one of the most intricate and exhausting of social
customs. Young men and women of our better classes are now forced
to devote a large part of their lives to acting as brides, grooms, ushers
and bridesmaids at various elaborate nuptials. Weeks are generally
required in preparation for an up-to-date wedding; months are
necessary in recovering from such an affair. Indeed, some of the
participants, notably the bride and groom, never quite get over the
effects of a marriage.
It was not "always thus." Time was when the wedding was a
comparatively simple. affair. In the Paleolithic Age, for example, (as
Mr. H. G. Wells of England points out in his able "Outline of History"),
there is no evidence of any particular ceremony conjunctive with the
marriage of "a male and a female." Even with the advent of Neolithic
man, a wedding seems to have been consummated by the rather simple
process of having the bridegroom crack the bride over the head with a
plain, unornamented stone ax. There were no ushers--no bridesmaids.
But shortly after that (c- 10,329--30 B.C. to be exact) two young
Neoliths named Haig, living in what is now supposed to be Scotland,
discovered that the prolonged distillation of common barley resulted in
the creation of an amber-colored liquid which, when taken internally,
produced a curious and not unpleasant effect.
This discovery had--and still has--a remarkable effect upon the
celebration of the marriage rite. Gradually there grew up around the
wedding a number of customs. With the Haig brothers' discovery of
Scotch whiskey began, as a matter of course, the institution of the
"bachelor dinner." "Necessity is the mother of invention," and exactly
twelve years after the first "bachelor dinner" came the discovery of
bicarbonate of soda. From that time down to the present day the history
of the etiquette of weddings has been that of an increasing number of
intricate forms and ceremonies, each age having added its particular bit
of ritual. The modern wedding may be said to be, therefore, almost an

"Outline of History" itself.
ANNOUNCING THE ENGAGEMENT
LET us begin, first of all, with the duties of one of the minor characters
at a wedding --the Groom. Suppose that you are an eligible young man
named Richard Roe, who has just become "engaged" to a young lady
named Dorothy Doe. If you really intend to "marry the girl," it is
customary that some formal announcement of the engagement be made,
for which you must have the permission of Miss Dorothy and her father.
It is not generally difficult to become engaged to most girls, but it will
surprise you to discover how hard it is to get the young lady whom you
believe to be your fiancee to consent to a public announcement of the
fact. The reason for this probably is that an engagement which has been
"announced" often leads to matrimony, and matrimony, in polite
society, often lasts for several years. After you have secured the girl's
permission, it is next necessary that you notify her father of the
engagement. In this particular case, as he happens to be your employer,
the notification can take place in his office. First of all, however, it
would be advisable to prepare some sort of speech in advance. Aim to
put him as far as possible at his ease, lead up to the subject gradually
and tactfully. Abruptness is never "good form." The following is
suggested as a possible model. "Good morning, Mr. Doe, say, I heard a
good story from a traveling salesman last night. It seems that there was
a young married couple--(here insert a good story about a young
married couple). Wasn't that RICH? Yes, sir, marriage is a great
thing--a great institution. Every young man ought to get married, don't
you think? You do? Well, Mr.