On Picket Duty, and Other Tales | Page 8

was tew full to quit work all tew oncet. I
sent word I'd be 'long fore a gret while, and bymeby I went. I ought tew
hev gone at fust; but they'd sung aout 'Wolf!' so often I wasn't scared;
an' sure 'nuff the wolf did come at last. Father hed been dead an' berried
a week when I got there, and aunt was so mad she wouldn't write, nor
scurcely speak tew me fer a consider'ble spell. I didn't blame her a mite,

and felt jest the wust kind; so I give in every way, and fetched her
raound. Yeou see I hed a cousin who'd kind er took my place tew hum
while I was off, an' the old man hed left him a good slice er his money,
an' me the farm, hopin' to keep me there. He'd never liked the lumberin'
bizness, an' hankered arfter me a sight, I faound. Waal, seein' haow
'twas, I tried tew please him, late as it was; but ef there was ennything I
did spleen ag'inst, it was farmin, 'specially arfter the smart times I'd ben
hevin, up Oldtaown way. Yeou don't know nothin' abaout it; but ef
yeou want tew see high dewin's, jest hitch onto a timber-drive an' go it
daown along them lakes and rivers, say from Kaumchenungamooth tew
Punnobscot Bay. Guess yeou'd see a thing or tew, an' find livin' on a
log come as handy as ef yeou was born a turtle.
"Waal, I stood it one summer; but it was the longest kind of a job.
Come fall I turned contrary, darned the farm, and vaowed I'd go back
tew loggin'. Aunt hed got fond er me by that time, and felt dreadful bad
abaout my leavin' on her. Cousin Siah, as we called Josiah, didn't
cotton tew the old woman, though he did tew her cash; but we hitched
along fust-rate. She was 'tached tew the place, hated tew hev it let or
sold, thought I'd go to everlastin' rewin ef I took tew lumberin' ag'in, an'
hevin' a tidy little sum er money all her own, she took a notion tew buy
me off. 'Hiram,' sez she, 'ef yeou'll stay tew hum, merry some smart gal,
an' kerry on the farm, I'll leave yeou the hull er my fortin. Ef yeou don't,
I'll leave every cent on't tew Siah, though he ain't done as waal by me
as yeou hev. Come,' sez she, 'I'm breakin' up like brother; I shan't wurry
any one a gret while, and 'fore spring I dessay you'll hev cause tew
rejice that yeou done as Aunt Si counselled yeou.'
"Now, that idee kinder took me, seein' I hedn't no overpaourin' love fer
cousin; but I brewdid over it a spell 'fore I 'greed. Fin'lly, I said I'd dew
it, as it warn't a hard nor a bad trade; and begun to look raound fer Mis
Flint, Jr. Aunt was dreadf'l pleased; but 'mazin pertickler as tew who
was goan tew stan' in her shoes, when she was fetched up ag'inst the
etarnal boom. There was a sight er lovely women-folks raound taown;
but aunt she set her foot daown that Mis Flint must be smart, pious, an'
good-natered; harnsome she didn't say nothin' abaout, bein' the
humliest woman in the State er Maine. I hed my own calk'lations on

that pint, an' went sparkin' two or three er the pootiest gals, all that
winter. I warn't in no hurry, fer merryin' is an awful resky bizness; an' I
warn't goan to be took in by nobuddy. Some haouw I couldn't make up
my mind which I'd hev, and kept dodgin', all ready to slew raound, an'
hitch on tew ary one that seemed likeliest. 'Long in March, aunt, she
ketched cold, took tew her bed, got wuss, an' told me tew hurry up, fer
nary red should I hev, ef I warn't safely merried 'fore she stepped out. I
thought that was ruther craoudin' a feller; but I see she was goan sure,
an' I'd got intew a way er considerin' the cash mine, so that it come hard
to hear abaout givin' on't up. Off I went that evenin' an' asked Almiry
Nash ef she'd hev me. No, she wouldn't; I'd shilly-shallyed so long,
she'd got tired er waitin' and took tew keepin' company with a doctor
daown tew Bang-gore, where she'd ben visitin' a spell. I didn't find that
as hard a rub to swaller, as I'd a thought I would, though Almiry was
the richest, pootiest, and good-naterest of the lot. Aunt larfed waal, an'
told me tew try agin; so a couple er nights arfter, I spruced up, an' went
over to Car'line Miles's; she was as smart as old cheese, an' waal off
intew