Oh! Susannah! | Page 8

bad?
Aurora. Yes, sir, an' I've fr--fr--
Doctor. Fried it?
Aurora. No, sir, frowed it away!

Doctor. All of it? (goes to medicine chest)
Aurora. Yes, sir, all of it. (one step back, nods hard)
Doctor. (aside) She's eaten it. (to her) Aurora. show me your tongue.
H'm! you'd better take this. (pours out a draught)
Aurora. (aside, rapturously) 'Is patient at larst! (takes it) Thank you, sir.
(gasps) I've touched 'is 'and.
Doctor. You won't like it.
Aurora. I will, sir, if I die arter it. (aside) I'm in seven 'eavens already!
(drinks, pulls an awful face) It's all for 'im!
(Doctor puts glass back, Aurora takes big lump of sugar from
tea-table.)
Doctor. (seriously) You might have died of ptomaine poisoning, eating
that decayed tinned stuff, (crosses to sofa, sits again)
Aurora. Oh, sir, I never touched a mossel. (big lump in her cheek)
Doctor. (surprised) You didn't eat it?
Aurora. Not me, sir! I ain't no thief! (takes another lump)
Doctor. (smiles) Well, never mind. That won't hurt you.
Aurora. Please, sir, (looking at him fondly--hesitatingly) Mrs. O'Hara,
she arsked me to say--as it's Lady day, would you allow 'er----
Doctor. I know--something on account.
Aurora. Oh, no, sir--would you allow her to send up a beautiful bird for
yer tea?
Doctor. No, thanks, I--I've just dined, (eats ravenously)

Aurora. (aside) Lord forgive 'im. (watches him eating)
Doctor. (aside) Mrs. O'Hara has tried that dodge before, but I'm not
taking any.
Aurora. I'm sure you'd like it, sir, it's a quail on toast.
Doctor. (aside, jumping up) Quail on toast!' Damn it! Do you want to
drive me mad? (shouts to her) No! Go! (sits and pours out another cup)
Aurora. (aside) No go. 'E don't love me, or 'e wouldn't say that?
(Bell rings.)
Oh, that bell! (comes back and quickly removes the things)
Doctor. (still holding teapot in left hand) What are you doing now?
Aurora. Clearing away, sir, in case it's for you.
(Exit Aurora with tea-tray.)
Doctor. What's she done that for? I wish Flo was here to look after me.
It was hard to leave her at Lowestoft, (takes photo from pocket, stands
it up before him on table) Dear little Flo! The one girl I've loved all my
life! (arm outstretched, teapot in L. hand) To think that you're my wife
at last! (slowly closing his arms) My wife! (hugging teapot, yowls) It
seems too good to be true. And where are the patients Quayle said
would flow In? Simply flow In! (waves teapot, tea, goes all over the
stage) Hello! its flowing out.
(Enter Plant.)
(loudly) I say, where are my patients? (loudly, coming down stage, not
seeing Plant)
Plant. (more loudly) And I say where are my daughters?
Doctor. (seeing him) My first! Quayle's right, after all. (comes to Plant

teapot in hand, assumes professional air) Good afternoon, won't you sit
down? (seats himself and writing table, puts teapot on blotter. He is
always absent-minded when absorbed in his science)
Now! (earnestly) What can I do for you? What's the trouble, eh?
Plant. (aside) Well, upon my word, he's a cool customer. (stands R. of
table)
Doctor. Come, come, let's hear what it is, or how I can help you; you
know I'm in the habit of hearing confidences, (sees teapot, puts it under
table)
Plant. (indignantly) Sir, I'm a father!
Doctor. (bowing) Sir, I congratulate you. (writes "Father" on note
pad--to Plant cheerfully) Is it a boy or a girl?
Plant. (hotly) Two girls, sir.
Doctor. Dear, dear, I sympathize with you. (makes a note "two girls")
Mother doing well?
Plant. (gesticulating wildly) The mother's dead, sir!
Doctor. (with sympathy) Ah, now I understand your agitation, (makes
note) And the twins--are they well?
Plant. (wildly) Damn it, Sir, they're not twins, and I've lost 'em.
Doctor. Dear, dear! (aside) Lost his wife and both the poor little babies,
(writing on note pad)
Plant. (chokingly) Only half an hour ago, and I've come to you----
Doctor. (putting up his hand) No, no, if your own Doctor won't grant a
certificate, it's no use coming to me. (tears up notes)
Plant. I tell you I left 'em here, on this sofa.

Doctor. (rises indignantly) Oh my sofa! Then you'd no business to.
How dare you leave the poor things lying on my sofa? Where are they?
(looking under sofa cushions)
Plant. Hang it, sir, that's what I've come to ask you. What have you
done with them?
(Enter Tupper.)
Tupper. (to Doctor) Please, sir, Mrs. O'Hara says--(hands him her
account book)
Plant. (seizing Tupper) Where are my daughters? (crosses C, shaking
Tupper--threatening him with big stick)
Tupper. I dunno, sir--give it up.
Plant. No prevarications! You saw the two young ladies.
Doctor. (surprised) Two young ladies! I see now!
Tupper. Are you their father,