Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers, vol 2

Narrative and Miscellaneous
Papers, vol 2

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Title: Narrative And Miscellaneous Papers, Vol. II.
Author: Thomas De Quincey
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NARRATIVE AND MISCELLANEOUS PAPERS, VOL. II.
BY THOMAS DE QUINCEY.

CONTENTS OF VOLUME II.
SYSTEM OF THE HEAVENS AS REVEALED BY LORD ROSSE'S
TELESCOPES MODERN SUPERSTITION COLERIDGE AND
OPIUM-EATING TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT ON WAR THE
LAST DAYS OF IMMANUEL KANT

SYSTEM OF THE HEAVENS AS REVEALED BY LORD ROSSE'S
TELESCOPES. [Footnote: Thoughts on Some Important Points
relating to the System of the World. By J. P. Nichol, LL.D., Professor
of Astronomy in the University of Glasgow. William Tait, Edinburgh.
1846.]
Some years ago, some person or other, [in fact I believe it was myself,]
published a paper from the German of Kant, on a very interesting
question, viz., the age of our own little Earth. Those who have never
seen that paper, a class of unfortunate people whom I suspect to form
rather the majority in our present perverse generation, will be likely to
misconceive its object. Kant's purpose was, not to ascertain how many
years the Earth had lived: a million of years, more or less, made very

little difference to him. What he wished to settle was no such barren
conundrum. For, had there even been any means of coercing the Earth
into an honest answer, on such a delicate point, which the Sicilian
canon, Recupero, fancied that there was; [Footnote: Recupero. See
Brydone's Travels, some sixty or seventy years ago. The canon, being a
beneficed clergyman in the Papal church, was naturally an infidel. He
wished exceedingly to refute Moses: and he fancied that he really had
done so by means of some collusive assistance from the layers of lava
on Mount Etna. But there survives, at this day, very little to remind us
of the canon, except an unpleasant guffaw that rises, at times, in
solitary valleys of Etna.] but which, in my own opinion, there neither is,
nor ought to be,-- (since a man deserves to be cudgelled who could put
such improper questions to a lady planet,)--still what would it amount
to? What good would it do us to have a certificate of our dear little
mother's birth and baptism? Other people--people in Jupiter, or the
Uranians--may amuse themselves with her pretended foibles or
infirmities: it is quite safe to do so at their distance; and, in a female
planet like Venus, it might be natural, (though, strictly speaking, not
quite correct,) to scatter abroad malicious insinuations, as though our
excellent little mamma had begun to wear false hair, or had lost some
of her front teeth. But all this, we men of sense know to be gammon.
Our mother Tellus, beyond all doubt, is a lovely little thing. I am
satisfied that she is very much admired throughout the Solar System:
and, in clear seasons, when she is seen to advantage, with her bonny
wee pet of a Moon tripping round her like a lamb, I should be thankful
to any gentleman who will mention where he has happened to
observe--either he or his telescope--will he only have the goodness to
say, in what part of the heavens he has discovered a more elegant
turn-out. I wish to make no personal reflections. I name no names.
Only this I say, that, though some people have the gift of seeing things
that other people never could see, and though some other people, or
other some people are born with a silver spoon