More William | Page 9

then. Here's
some nice blanc-mange. Just have a bit. Go on, have a bit and shut up."
He put the dish down on the larder floor before the cat, and the cat,
after a few preliminary licks, decided that it was good. William sat
watching for a bit. Then he came to the conclusion that it was no use
wasting time, and began to sample the plates around him. He ate a
whole jelly, and then took four sandwiches off each plate, and four
cakes and pasties off each plate. He had learnt wisdom since the last
party. Meanwhile, the cat licked away at the cream blanc-mange with
every evidence of satisfaction. It even began to purr, and as its
satisfaction increased so did the purr. It possessed a peculiar
penetrating purr.
"Cook!" called out Emma from the kitchen.
Cook came out of the library where she was assisting with the festoon
hanging. "What's the matter?"
"There's a funny buzzing noise in the larder."
"Well, go in and see what it is. It's probably a wasp, that's all."

Emma approached with the key, and William, clasping the
blanc-mange to his bosom, withdrew behind the door, slipping off his
shoes in readiness for action.
"Poor Puss!" said Emma, opening the door and meeting the cat's green,
unabashed gaze. "Did it get shut up in the nasty dark larder, then? Who
did it, then?"
She was bending down with her back to William, stroking the cat in the
doorway. William seized his chance. He dashed past her and up the
stairs in stockinged feet like a flash of lightning. But Emma, leaning
over the cat, had espied a dark flying figure out of the corner of her eye.
She set up a scream. Out of the library came William's mother,
William's sister, William's brother, and cook.
"A burglar in the larder!" gasped Emma. "I seed 'im, I did! Out of the
corner of my eye, like, and when I looked up 'e wasn't there no more.
Flittin' up the 'all like a shadder, 'e was. Oh, lor! It's fairly turned me
inside! Oh, lor!"
"What rubbish!" said William's mother. "Emma, you must control
yourself!"
"I went into the larder myself 'm," said cook indignantly, "just before I
came in to 'elp with the greenery ornaments, and it was hempty as--hair.
It's all that silly Emma! Always 'avin' the jumps, she is----"
"Where's William?" said William's mother with sudden suspicion.
"William!"
William came out of his bedroom and looked over the balusters.
"Yes, mother," he said, with that wondering innocence of voice and
look which he had brought to a fine art, and which proved one of his
greatest assets in times of stress and strain.
"What are you doing?"

"Jus' readin' quietly in my room, mother."
"Oh, for heaven's sake don't disturb him, then," said William's sister.
"It's those silly books you read, Emma. You're always imagining things.
If you'd read the ones I recommend, instead of the foolish ones you will
get hold of----"
William's mother was safely mounted on one of her favourite
hobby-horses. William withdrew to his room and carefully concealed
the cream blanc-mange beneath his bed. He then waited till he heard
the guests arrive and exchange greetings in the hall. William, listening
with his door open, carefully committed to memory the voice and
manner of his sister's greeting to her friends. That would come in useful
later on, probably. No weapon of offence against the world in general
and his own family in particular, was to be despised. He held a
rehearsal in his room when the guests were all safely assembled in the
drawing-room.
"Oh, how are you, Mrs. Green?" he said in a high falsetto, meant to
represent the feminine voice. "And how's the darling baby? Such a
duck! I'm dying to see him again! Oh, Delia, darling! There you are! So
glad you could come! What a perfect darling of a dress, my dear. I
know whose heart you'll break in that! Oh, Mr. Thompson!"--here
William languished, bridled and ogled in a fashion seen nowhere on
earth except in his imitations of his sister when engaged in
conversation with one of the male sex. If reproduced at the right
moment, it was guaranteed to drive her to frenzy, "I'm so glad to see
you. Yes, of course I really am! I wouldn't say it if I wasn't!"
The drawing-room door opened and a chatter of conversation and a
rustling of dresses arose from the hall. Oh, crumbs! They were going in
to supper. Yes, the dining-room door closed; the coast was clear.
William took out the rather battered-looking delicacy from under the
bed and considered it thoughtfully. The dish was big and awkwardly
shaped. He must find something that would go under his coat better
than