did it really mean to 
him?--what would it mean to _her_--if she were left alone? Images 
passed through his mind--the sights of the trenches--shattered and 
dying bodies. What was the _soul_?--had it really an independent life? 
Something there was in men--quite rough and common men--something 
revealed by war and the sufferings of war--so splendid, so infinitely 
beyond anything he had ever dreamed of in ordinary life, that to think 
of it roused in him a passion of hidden feeling--perhaps adoration--but 
vague and speechless--adoration of he knew not what. He did not speak
easily of his feeling, even to his young wife, to whom marriage had so 
closely, so ineffably bound him. But as he lay on the grass looking up 
at her--smiling--obeying her command of silence, his thoughts ranged 
irrepressibly. Supposing he fell, and she lived on--years and years--to 
be an old woman? Old! Nelly? Impossible! He put his hand gently on 
the slender foot, and felt the pulsing life in it. 'Dearest!' she murmured 
at his touch, and their eyes met tenderly. 
'I should be content--' he thought--'if we could just live this life out! I 
don't believe I should want another life. But to go--and leave her; to 
go--just at the beginning--before one knows anything--before one has 
finished anything--' 
And again his eyes wandered from her to the suffusion of light and 
colour on the lake. 'How could anyone ever want anything better than 
this earth--this life--at its best--if only one were allowed a full and 
normal share of it!' And he thought again, almost with a leap of 
exasperation, of those dead and mangled men--out there--in France. 
Who was responsible--God?--or man? But man's will is--must 
be--something dependent--something included in God's will. If God 
really existed, and if He willed war, and sudden death--then there must 
be another life. Or else the power that devised the world was not a good, 
but an evil--at best, a blind one. 
But while his young brain was racing through the old puzzles in the old 
ways, Nelly was thinking of something quite different. Her delicate 
small face kept breaking into little smiles with pensive intervals--till at 
last she broke out-- 
'Do you remember how I caught you--turning back to look after us--just 
here--just about here? You had passed that thorn tree--' 
He came back to love-making with delight. 
'"Caught me!" I like that! As if you weren't looking back too! How else 
did you know anything about me?' 
He had taken his seat beside her on the rock, and her curly black head
was nestling against his shoulder. There was no one on the mountain 
path, no one on the lake. Occasionally from the main road on the 
opposite shore there was a passing sound of wheels. Otherwise the 
world was theirs--its abysses of shadow, its 'majesties of light.' 
She laughed joyously, not attempting to contradict him. It was on this 
very path, just two months before the war, that they had first seen each 
other. She with her father and Bridget were staying at Mrs. Weston's 
lodgings, because she, Nelly, had had influenza, and the doctor had sent 
her away for a change. They knew the Lakes well already, as is the way 
of Manchester folk. Their father, a hard-worked, and often melancholy 
man, had delighted in them, summer and winter, and his two girls had 
trudged about the fells with him year after year, and wanted nothing 
different or better. At least, Nelly had always been content. Bridget had 
grumbled often, and proposed Blackpool, or Llandudno, or Eastbourne 
for a change. But their father did not like 'crowds.' They came to the 
Lakes always before or after the regular season. Mr. Cookson hated the 
concourse of motorists in August, and never would use one himself. 
Not even when they went from Ambleside to Keswick. They must 
always walk, or go by the horse-coach. 
Nelly presently looked up, and gave a little pull to the corner of her 
husband's moustache. 
'Of course you know you behaved abominably that next day at 
Wythburn! You kept that whole party waiting while you ran after us. 
And I hadn't dropped that bag. You knew very well I hadn't dropped it!' 
He chuckled. 
'It did as well as anything else. I got five minutes' talk with you. I found 
out where you lodged.' 
'Poor papa!'--said Nelly reflectively--'he was so puzzled. "There's that 
fellow we saw at Wythburn again! Why on earth does he come here to 
fish? I never saw anybody catch a thing in this bit of the river." Poor 
papa!'
They were both silent a little. Mr. Cookson had not lived long enough 
to see Nelly and George Sarratt engaged. The war had killed him. 
Financial embarrassment was already closing on him when it broke out, 
and he could not stand the shock and the    
    
		
	
	
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