Lyra Frivola | Page 4

bear the degradations Which inflicted are by Rowing
on the dignity of man:
The unspeakable reproaches which are
lavished by your coaches-- On my sense of what is proper they
continually jar"--
("It is simply Mos Majorum--'twas their fathers'
way before 'em-- 'Tis a kind of ancient Cussed 'em"--said the Isis to the
Cher.)
"Are we men and are we Britons? shall we ne'er obtain a quittance"--
Said the Cherwell to the Isis--"from the tyrants of the oar? O it's Youth
in a Canader with the willow boughs to shade her And a chaperone
discreetly in attendance (on the shore), O it's cultivated leisure that is
life's supremest treasure, Far from athletes merely brutal, and from
Philistines afar: I've a natural aversion to gratuitous exertion,
And I'm
prone to mild flirtation," said the unrepentant Cher.
But in accents of the sternest, "Life is Real: Life is Earnest," (Said the
grim rebuking Isis to his tributary stream);
"Don't you know the Joy
of Living is in honourably Striving, Don't you know the Chase of
Pleasure is a vain delusive Dream? When they toil and when they
shiver in the tempests on the River, When they're faint and spent and
weary, and they have
to pull it through,
'Tis in Action stern and zealous that they truly find
a Telos, [1] Though a moment's relaxation be afforded them by you!"
Said the Cherwell to the Isis, "When the trees are clad in greenness,
When the Eights are fairly over, and it's drawing near Commem., It is
Ver and it is Venus that shall judge the case between us, And I think for
all your maxims that you won't compete with them! Then despite their
boasted virtue shall your athletes all desert you (Come to me for
information if you don't know where they are): For it's ina scholaxomen
[2] that's the proper end of Woman And of Man--at least in summer,"
said the easy-going Cher.
[1. Transcriber's note: The word "Telos" was transliterated from the
Greek characters Tau, epsilon, lambda, omicron, and sigma.]

[2. Transcriber's note: The two words "ina scholaxomen" were
transliterated from Greek as follows: "ina"--iota (possibly accompanied
by the rough-breathing diacritical), nu, alpha; "scholaxomen"--sigma,
chi, omicron, lambda, alpha (possibly with the soft-breathing
diacritical), xi, omega, mu, epsilon, nu.]
PEDAGOGY
Our fathers on the pedagogue held sentiments irrational,
Curricula for
training him 'twas never theirs to know,
And when he taught the way
he ought, by genius educational, They gave their thanks to Providence,
who made him do it so. But our developed intellect and keener
perspicacity
Has all reduced to system now and a priori rule:
We've
altogether ceased to trust in natural capacity,
And pin alone our faith
upon a Pedagogy School.
Don't talk to me of knowledge gained by base experience practical (A
thing that's wholly obsolete and laid upon the shelf): Don't waste your
time in aiming at exactitude syntactical, Or hold that he who teaches
Greek should know that Greek himself: For if you wish to face the truth,
and fact no more to see awry-- Who strives to wake the dormant mind
of unreceptive imps Need only read the works of Rein on Education's
Theory
And study the immortal tomes of Ziegler and De Guimps!
Whene'er of old a boy was dull or quite adverse to knowledge, he Was
set an imposition or corrected with a switch:
Far different our practice
is, who reign by Methodology
And guide the dunce by precepts learnt
from Landon or from Fitch: 'Twas difficult by rule of thumb to check
unseemly merriment, To make your class their pastor treat with proper
due regard-- 'Tis easy quite for specialists in Juvenile Temperament,

Who know the books on Punishment and also on Reward!
There's no demand for authors now of erudite opuscula,
For
Wranglers or for Science men or linguists of repute: No cricketers can
gain a post by mere distinction muscular, No Socker Blues can hope to
teach the young idea to Shoot: Read Lange his Psychology--Didactics

of Comenius--
By works like these and only these your prudent mind
prepare: For if you've nought but scholarship or independent genius
You'd better far adopt the Bar and make your fortune there!
O all ye ancient dominies whose names are writ in history-- Shade of
the late Orbilius, and ghost of Dr Parr,
Howe'er you got your fame of
old--the reason's wrapt in mystery-- Where'er you be, I hope you see
how obsolete you are!
'Tis Handbooks make the Pedagogue: O great,
eternal verity! O fact of which our ancestors could ne'er obtain a
glimpse! But we'll proclaim the truth abroad and noise it to posterity,
Our watchword a curriculum--our shibboleth DE GUIMPS!
SONG FOR THE NAVY LEAGUE
(Dedicated without permission to LORD CHARLES BERESFORD.)
O where be all those mariners bold
who used to control the sea,
The Admiral great and the bo'sun's mate
and the skipper who skipped so free?
O