Life of William Carey | Page 9

Crispin." But Whittier, Quaker, philanthropist, and countryman
of Judson though he was, might have found a place for Carey when he
sang so well of others:--
"Thy songs, Hans Sachs, are living yet, In strong and hearty German;
And Bloomfield's lay and Gifford's wit And patriot fame of Sherman;
"Still from his book, a mystic seer, The soul of Behmen teaches, And
England's priestcraft shakes to hear Of Fox's leathern breeches."
The confessions of Carey, made in the spiritual humility and

self-examination of his later life, form a parallel to the Grace
Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, the little classic of John Bunyan
second only to his Pilgrim's Progress. The young Pharisee, who entered
Hackleton with such hate in his heart to dissenters that he would have
destroyed their meeting-place, who practised "lying, swearing, and
other sins," gradually yielded so far to his brother apprentice's
importunity as to leave these off, to try to pray sometimes when alone,
to attend church three times a day, and to visit the dissenting
prayer-meeting. Like the zealot who thought to do God service by
keeping the whole law, Carey lived thus for a time, "not doubting but
this would produce ease of mind and make me acceptable to God."
What revealed him to himself was an incident which he tells in
language recalling at once Augustine and one of the subtlest sketches of
George Eliot, in which the latter uses her half-knowledge of evangelical
faith to stab the very truth that delivered Paul and Augustine, Bunyan
and Carey, from the antinomianism of the Pharisee:--
"A circumstance which I always reflect on with a mixture of horror and
gratitude occurred about this time, which, though greatly to my
dishonour, I must relate. It being customary in that part of the country
for apprentices to collect Christmas boxes [donations] from the
tradesmen with whom their masters have dealings, I was permitted to
collect these little sums. When I applied to an ironmonger, he gave me
the choice of a shilling or a sixpence; I of course chose the shilling, and
putting it in my pocket, went away. When I had got a few shillings my
next care was to purchase some little articles for myself, I have
forgotten what. But then, to my sorrow, I found that my shilling was a
brass one. I paid for the things which I bought by using a shilling of my
master's. I now found that I had exceeded my stock by a few pence. I
expected severe reproaches from my master, and therefore came to the
resolution to declare strenuously that the bad money was his. I well
remember the struggles of mind which I had on this occasion, and that I
made this deliberate sin a matter of prayer to God as I passed over the
fields towards home! I there promised that, if God would but get me
clearly over this, or, in other words, help me through with the theft, I
would certainly for the future leave off all evil practices; but this theft
and consequent lying appeared to me so necessary, that they could not

be dispensed with.
"A gracious God did not get me safe through. My master sent the other
apprentice to investigate the matter. The ironmonger acknowledged the
giving me the shilling, and I was therefore exposed to shame, reproach,
and inward remorse, which preyed upon my mind for a considerable
time. I at this time sought the Lord, perhaps much more earnestly than
ever, but with shame and fear. I was quite ashamed to go out, and never,
till I was assured that my conduct was not spread over the town, did I
attend a place of worship.
"I trust that, under these circumstances, I was led to see much more of
myself than I had ever done before, and to seek for mercy with greater
earnestness. I attended prayer-meetings only, however, till February 10,
1779, which being appointed a day of fasting and prayer, I attended
worship on that day. Mr. Chater [congregationalist] of Olney preached,
but from what text I have forgotten. He insisted much on following
Christ entirely, and enforced his exhortation with that passage, 'Let us
therefore go out unto him without the camp, bearing his
reproach.'--Heb. xiii. 13. I think I had a desire to follow Christ; but one
idea occurred to my mind on hearing those words which broke me off
from the Church of England. The idea was certainly very crude, but
useful in bringing me from attending a lifeless, carnal ministry to one
more evangelical. I concluded that the Church of England, as
established by law, was the camp in which all were protected from the
scandal of the cross, and that I ought to bear the reproach of Christ
among the dissenters;