King Henry IV, Part 1 | Page 9

at
much uncertainty.
NORTH.
Farewell, good brother: we shall thrive, I trust.
HOT.
Uncle, adieu: O, let the hours be short,
Till fields and blows
and groans applaud our sport!
[Exeunt.]
ACT II.
Scene I. Rochester. An Inn-Yard.
[Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand.]
0. CAR. Heigh-ho! an't be not four by the day, I'll be hang'd: Charles'
wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse' not
pack'd.--What, ostler!
OST.
[within.] Anon, anon.
. CAR. I pr'ythee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks in the point;
the poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess.
[Enter another Carrier.]
2. CAR.
Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the

next way to give poor jades the bots; this house is turned
upside down
since Robin ostler died.
. CAR. Poor fellow! never joyed since the price of oats rose; it was the
death of him.
. CAR. I think this be the most villainous house in all London road for
fleas: I am stung like a tench.

0. CAR. Like a tench! by the Mass, there is ne'er a king in Christendom
could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.--What,
ostler! come away and be hang'd; come away.
2. CAR.
I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be

delivered as far as Charing-cross.
. CAR. 'Odsbody! the turkeys in my pannier are quite starved.--What,
ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy head?
canst not hear? An 'twere not as good a deed as drink to break the
pate of thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hang'd: hast no
faith in thee?
[Enter Gadshill.]
GADS.
Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock?
0. CAR. I think it be two o'clock.
GADS.
I pr'ythee, lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding in the

stable.
. CAR. Nay, soft, I pray ye; I know a trick worth two of that, i'faith.
GADS.
I pr'ythee, lend me thine.
2. CAR.
Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth a? marry,
I'll see thee hang'd first.
GADS.
Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?
2. CAR.
Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.--

Come, neighbour Muggs, we'll call up the gentlemen: they will along
with company, for they have great charge.
[Exeunt Carriers.]
GADS.
What, ho! chamberlain!
CHAM.
[Within.] At hand, quoth pick-purse.

GADS.
That's even as fair as--at hand, quoth the chamberlain; for
thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving
direction
doth from labouring; thou lay'st the plot how.
[Enter Chamberlain.]
CHAM.
Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told

you yesternight: there's a franklin in the wild of Kent hath brought three
hundred marks with him in gold: I heard him
tell it to one of his
company last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one that hath
abundance of charge too, God knows what. They are up already, and
call for eggs and butter; they will away presently.
GADS.
Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks, I'll give
thee this neck.
CHAM.
No, I'll none of it: I pr'ythee, keep that for the hangman; for I
know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood
may.
GADS.
What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang, I'll make
a fat pair of gallows; for, if I hang, old Sir John hangs with me, and
thou know'st he is no starveling. Tut! there are other Trojans that thou
dreamest not of, the which, for sport-sake, are content to do the
profession some grace; that would, if matters should be look'd into, for
their own credit-sake, make all whole. I am joined with no foot
land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad
mustachio purple-hued
malt-worms; but with nobility and tranquillity,
burgomasters and great oneyers; such as can hold in, such as will strike
sooner than speak, and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than
pray: and yet, zwounds, I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the
Commonwealth; or, rather, not pray to her, but prey on her, for they
ride up and down on her, and make her their boots.
CHAM.
What, the Commonwealth their boots? will she hold out
water in foul way?

GADS.
She will, she will; justice hath liquor'd her. We steal as in a
castle, cock-sure; we have the receipt of fernseed,--we walk invisible.
CHAM.
Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the
night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.
GADS.
Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our purchase, as
I am a true man.
CHAM.
Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
GADS.
Go to; homo is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler

bring my gelding