King Arthurs Socks and Other Village Plays

Floyd Dell
King Arthur's Socks and Other
Village Plays

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Title: King Arthur's Socks and Other Village Plays
Author: Floyd Dell
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KING ARTHUR'S SOCKS AND OTHER VILLAGE PLAYS
BY FLOYD DELL

PREFATORY NOTE
These plays, with one exception, were written in Greenwich Village,
and, with another exception, first performed there--some at the old
Liberal Club, and others by the Provincetown Players. They are
souvenirs of an intellectual play-time which, being dead, deserves some
not-too-solemn memorial.
F. D.

CONTENTS
HUMAN NATURE: A Very Short Morality Play,
THE CHASTE ADVENTURES OF JOSEPH: A Comedy,
THE ANGEL INTRUDES: A Comedy,
LEGEND: A Romance,
SWEET-AND-TWENTY: A Comedy,
A LONG TIME AGO: A Tragic Fantasy,
ENIGMA: A Domestic Conversation,
IBSEN REVISITED: A Piece of Foolishness,
KING ARTHUR'S SOCKS: A Comedy,
THE RIM OF THE WORLD: A Fantasy,
POOR HAROLD: A Comedy,

HUMAN NATURE

A VERY SHORT MORALITY PLAY

TO ARTHUR DAVISON FICKE
This is a much changed version of "A Five Minute Problem Play,"
originally given at the Liberal Club, New York City, in 1913.
_Boundless blue space. Two celestial figures stand in front of it, talking.
One of them carries a pointer, such as is used in class-room
demonstrations at the blackboard. The other has a red-covered
guidebook under his arm_.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE (_the one with the pointer_) Well,
I think that is all. You've seen everything now.
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE (_the One With the guidebook_)
It has all been very interesting, and I don't know how to thank you for
the trouble you've taken.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Don't mention it. That's my
business, you know--to show young and curious Spirits what there is to
see in the universe. And I must say that you've been an exceptionally
patient pupil. I don't usually take as much time with youngsters as I
have with you. But when I find someone as interested in the universe as
you are, I don't mind spending a few more eons on the job. We've been
all around, this trip. I don't believe we've missed anything of any
importance. But if there is anything else you can think of that you'd like
to see--
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. (_hesitantly_) Well, there is
one place . . . It's only mentioned in a footnote in the guide-book, but
for that very reason I thought perhaps--
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. You have the right attitude.
There's nothing too small or insignificant to know about. Do you
remember the name of the place?
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. No, but--(_He turns the leaves
of the guide-book_.) Here it is. (He holds the book closer so as to read
the fine print at the bottom of the page.) Earth, it's called.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Ah, yes, there is such a place. . . .
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. The guide-book doesn't give

any information about it. Just mentions its name.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Well, there isn't very much to say
about it. After what you've seen, you wouldn't be impressed by its art or
its architecture, . . . Still, it has one curious feature that perhaps you'd
be interested in. It's--
He pauses.
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. Yes?
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Perhaps I had better just show you,
and let you make what you can of it.
THE SECOND CELESTIAL FIGURE. (_deferentially_) As you say.
THE FIRST CELESTIAL FIGURE. Here, then--look for yourself!
_He raises the pointer, and boundless space rolls up like a curtain,
disclosing a comfortable
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