Irish Wonders | Page 3

mornin' is to come from. Phat do they ate?
They're not in the laste purtickler. Spakin' ginerally, whatever they can
get. They've pitaties an' milk, an' sometimes pitaties an' no milk, an' av
a Sunday a bit o' mate that's a herrin', an' not a boot to the fut o' thim,
an' they paddlin' in the wather on the flure. Sure the town's full o' thim
an' the likes av thim. Begorra, the times has changed since the siven
Kings held coort in the castle beyant yon.
"Niver heard o' the Siven Kings av Athenroy? Why ivery babby knows
the whole shtory be heart, an' all about thim. Faith I'll tell it, fur it's not
desayvin' ye I am, fur the ould castle was wan o' the greatest places in
the counthry.
"Wanst upon a time, there was an ould King in Athenroy, that, be all
accounts, was the besht ould King that iver set fut upon a throne. He
was a tall ould King, an' the hairs av him an' the beard av him was as
white as a shnow-flake, an' he had a long, grane dressin' gown, wid

shamrocks av goold all over it, an' a goold crown as high as a
gintleman's hat, wid a dimund as big as yer fisht on the front av it, an'
silver shlippers on the feet av him. An' he had grane cârpets on the
groun' in the hall o' the ould castle, an' begob, they do say that
everything about the coort was goold, but av that I'm not rightly sartain,
barrin' the pipe. That was av goold, bekase there's a picture av him
hangin' in Michael Flaherty's shebeen, an' the pipe is just the look av
goold an' so it must have been.
"An' he was the besht King in Ireland, an' sorra a beggar 'ud come an
the dure, but the King 'ud come out in his gown an' shlippers an' ax him
how he come to be poor, an' sind him 'round to the kitchen to be
warrumed wid a dhrop av whishkey an' fed wid all the cold pitaties that
was in the panthry. All the people riz up whin he was a-walkin' down
the shtrate wid a big goold-top shtick in his hand, an' the crown
a-shinin' on his head, an' they said, 'God save yer Holiness,' an' he said,
'God save ye kindly,' mighty perlite, bekase he was a dacent mannered
ould King, an' 'ud shpake to a poor divil that hadn't a coat on his back
as quick as to wan av his ginerals wid a goold watch an' a shiny hat.
An' whin he wint into a shop, sure they niver axed him to show the
color av his money at all, but the man 'ud say, 'God save ye! Sure ye
can pay whin ye plaze, an' I'll sind it be the postman whin he goes by.'
An' the ould King 'ud say, 'Oh, I wont throuble ye. Bedad, I'll carry it,'
an' aff the blessed ould King 'ud go, wid his bundles undher his arm, an'
the crown on his head, as happy as a widdy wid a new husband.
"An' there was six other ould Kings, that was frinds to him, an' they
was all as like him as six paze. Foor times a year they'd all come to
Athenroy fur a bit av a shpree like, bekase the King av Athenroy was
the ouldest av thim, an' they thought the worruld an' all av him. Faix, it
was mighty improvin' to see thim all a-goin' to chapel in the mornin',
an' singin' an' drinkin' an' playin' whisht in the avenin'. Sure thim was
the blessed days fur the counthry.
"Well me dear, in coorse av time, the six ould Kings all died, God rest
their sowls, but as aitch wan had a son to come afther him, the differ
was mighty shmall, for the young Kings was dacent shpoken lads an'

kept on comin' to Athenroy just like the ould Kings.
"Oh, bedad, I forgot to tell yez that the ould King had a dawther, that
was the light av his eyes. She was as tall as a sargent an' as shtrate as a
gun, an' her eyes was as blue as the shky an' shone like the shtars. An'
her hairs was t'reads av goold, an' she was the beautifulest woman iver
seen in Athenroy. An' shmall love there was for her, fur she was as
cowld as a wet Christmas. She didn't shpake often, bekase she wasn't
wan o' thim that 'ud deefen a smith, but whin she did, the tongue that
was in the head av her was like a sting-nettle, an' 'ud lash around like a
throut on land. An' ivery woman in the shtrate watched