Gullivers Travels | Page 9

was under great
difficulties between urgency and shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to creep
into my house, which I accordingly did; and shutting the gate after me, I went as far as
the length of my chain would suffer, and discharged my body of that uneasy load. But
this was the only time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action; for which I cannot but
hope the candid reader will give some allowance, after he has maturely and impartially
considered my case, and the distress I was in. From this time my constant practice was, as
soon as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the full extent of my chain; and due
care was taken every morning before company came, that the offensive matter should be
carried off in wheel-barrows, by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not
have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first sight, may appear not very
momentous, if I had not thought it necessary to justify my character, in point of
cleanliness, to the world; which, I am told, some of my maligners have been pleased,
upon this and other occasions, to call in question.
When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, having occasion for
fresh air. The emperor was already descended from the tower, and advancing on
horseback towards me, which had like to have cost him dear; for the beast, though very
well trained, yet wholly unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a mountain moved
before him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that prince, who is an excellent horseman,
kept his seat, till his attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while his majesty had time to
dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me round with great admiration; but kept
beyond the length of my chain. He ordered his cooks and butlers, who were already
prepared, to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles
upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and soon emptied them all;
twenty of them were filled with meat, and ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me
two or three good mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was
contained in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and so I did with
the rest. The empress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many
ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but upon the accident that happened to the
emperor's horse, they alighted, and came near his person, which I am now going to
describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court; which alone
is enough to strike an awe into the beholders. His features are strong and masculine, with
an Austrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body
and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his deportment majestic. He
was then past his prime, being twenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had
reigned about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the better convenience
of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his, and he stood but
three yards off: however, I have had him since many times in my hand, and therefore
cannot be deceived in the description. His dress was very plain and simple, and the

fashion of it between the Asiatic and the European; but he had on his head a light helmet
of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in his
hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose; it was almost three inches long;
the hilt and scabbard were gold enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very
clear and articulate; and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies and
courtiers were all most magnificently clad; so that the spot they stood upon seemed to
resemble a petticoat spread upon the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver.
His imperial majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers: but neither of us could
understand a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I
conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address themselves to me; and I
spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of, which were High and
Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose.
After about two hours the court retired, and I was left with a