Ginxs Baby, A Satire | Page 8

way to the former, and towards it Ginx turned. "Stop him!" "Murder!" "Take the child from him!' The crowd grew larger, and impeded the man's progress. Some of his fellow-workmen stood by regarding the fun. "Leave us aloan, naabors," shouted Ginx; "this is my own baby, and I'll do wot I likes with it. I kent keep it; an' if I've got anythin' I kent keep, it's best to get rid of it, ain't it? This child's goin' over Wauxhall Bridge." But the women clung to his arms and coattails. "Hallo! What's all this about?" said a sharp, strong man, well-dressed, and in good condition, coming up to the crowd; "anothe r foundling! Confound the place, the very stones produce babies. Where was it found?" CHORUS (recognizing a deputy-relieving officer). It warn't found at all; it's Ginx's baby. OFFICER. Ginx's baby? Who's Ginx? GINX. I am. OFFICER. Well? GINX. Well! CHORUS. He's goin' to drown it. OFFICER. Going to drown it? Nonsense. GINX. I am. OFFICER. But, bless my heart, that's murder! GINX. No 'tain't. I've twelve already at home. Starvashon's sure to kill this 'un. Best save it the trouble. CHORUS. Take it away, Mr. Smug, he'll kill it if you don't. OFFICER. Stuff and nonsense! Quite contrary to law! Why, man, you're bound to support your child. You can't throw it off in that way;--nor on the parish neither. Give me your name. I must get a magistrate's order. The act of parliament is as clear as daylight. I had a man up under it last week. "Whosoever shall unlawfully abandon or expose any child, being under the age of two years whereby the life of such child shall be endangered or the health of such child shall have been or shall be likely to be permanently injured (drowning comes under that I think) shall be GUILTY OF a MISDEMEANOR and being convicted thereof shall be liable at the discretion of the court to be KEPT IN PENAL SERVITUDE for the term of three years or to be imprisoned for any term not exceeding two years with or without hard labor." Mr. Smug, the officer, rolled out this section in a sonorous monotone, without stops, like a clerk of the court. It was his pride to know by heart all the acts relating to his department, and to bring them down upon any obstinate head that he wished to crush. Ginx's head, however, was impervious to an act of parliament. In his then temper, the Commination Service or St. Ernulphus's curse would have been feathers to him. The only feeling aroused in his mind by the words of the legislature was one of resentment. To him they seemed unjust, because they were hard and fast, and made no allowance for circumstances. So he said: GINX. D---- the act of parliament! What's the use of saying I shan't abandon the child, when I can't keep it alive? OFFICER. But you're bound by law to keep it alive. GINX. Bound to keep it alive? How am I to do it? There's the rest on 'em there (nodding towards his house) little better nor alive now. If that's an act of Parleyment, why don't the act of Parleyment provide for 'em? You know what wages is, and I can't get more than is going. CHORUS. Yes. Why don't Parleyment provide for 'em? You take the child, Mr. Smug. OFFICER (regardless of grammar). ME take the child! The parish has enough to do to take care of foundlings and children whose parents can't or don't work. You don't suppose we will look after the children of those who can? GINX. Jest so. You'll bring up bastards and beggars' pups, but you won't help an honest man to keep his head above water. This child's head is goin' under water anyhow!" --and he prepared to bolt, amid fresh screams from the Chorus. VII.--Malthus and Man. Two gentlemen, who had been observing the excitement, here came forward. FIRST GENTLEMAN. This is our problem again, Mr. Philosopher. Mr. PHILOSOPHER (to Ginx). You don't know what to do with your infant, my friend, and you think the State ought to provide for it? I understand you to say this is your thirteenth child. How came you to have so many? This question, though put with profound and even melancholy gravity, disconcerted Ginx, Officer, and Chorus, who united in a hearty outburst of laughter. GINX. Haw, Haw, Haw! How came I to have so many? Why my old woman's a good un and---- In fact, after searching his mind for some clever way of putting a comical rejoinder, Ginx laughed boisterously. There are two aspects of a question. PHILOSOPHER. I am serious, my friend. Did it never occur to you that you had no right to bring