Gentle Measures in the Management and Training of the Young

Gentle Measures in the Management and Training of the Young

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Gentle Measures in the Management and
Training of the Young, by Jacob Abbott This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: Gentle Measures in the Management and Training of the Young Or, The Principles on Which a Firm Parental Authority May Be Established and Maintained, Without Violence or Anger, and the Right Development of the Moral and Mental Capacities Be Promoted by Methods in Harmony with the Structure and the Characteristics of the Juvenile Mind
Author: Jacob Abbott
Release Date: March 22, 2004 [EBook #11667]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GENTLE MEASURES ***

Produced by Curtis Weyant, Valerine Blas and PG Distributed Proofreaders

[Illustration: AUTHORITY.]

GENTLE MEASURES
IN THE
MANAGEMENT AND TRAINING
OF THE YOUNG;
OR,
THE PRINCIPLES ON WHICH A FIRM PARENTAL AUTHORITY MAY BE ESTABLISHED AND MAINTAINED, WITHOUT VIOLENCE OR ANGER, AND THE RIGHT DEVELOPMENT OF THE MORAL AND MENTAL CAPACITIES BE PROMOTED BY METHODS IN HARMONY WITH THE STRUCTURE AND THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THE JUVENILE MIND.
By JACOB ABBOTT,
AUTHOR OF "SCIENCE FOR THE YOUNG," "HARPER'S STORY BOOKS," "FRANCONIA STORIES," "ABBOTT'S ILLUSTRATED HISTORIES," ETC.
NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1871,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.

CONTENTS.



CHAPTER I.
THREE MODES OF MANAGEMENT



CHAPTER II.
WHAT ARE GENTLE MEASURES?



CHAPTER III.
THERE MUST BE AUTHORITY



CHAPTER IV.
GENTLE PUNISHMENT OF DISOBEDIENCE



CHAPTER V.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF PUNISHMENT



CHAPTER VI.
REWARDING OBEDIENCE



CHAPTER VII.
THE ART OF TRAINING



CHAPTER VIII.
METHODS EXEMPLIFIED



CHAPTER IX.
DELLA AND THE DOLLS



CHAPTER X.
SYMPATHY:--I. THE CHILD WITH THE PARENT



CHAPTER XI.
SYMPATHY:--II. THE PARENT WITH THE CHILD



CHAPTER XII.
COMMENDATION AND ENCOURAGEMENT



CHAPTER XIII.
FAULTS OF IMMATURITY



CHAPTER XIV.
THE ACTIVITY OF CHILDREN



CHAPTER XV.
THE IMAGINATION IN CHILDREN



CHAPTER XVI.
TRUTH AND FALSEHOOD



CHAPTER XVII.
JUDGMENT AND REASONING



CHAPTER XVIII.
WISHES AND REQUESTS



CHAPTER XIX.
CHILDREN'S QUESTIONS



CHAPTER XX.
THE USE OF MONEY



CHAPTER XXI.
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT



CHAPTER XXII.
GRATITUDE IN CHILDREN



CHAPTER XXIII.
RELIGIOUS TRAINING



CHAPTER XXIV.
CONCLUSION

ILLUSTRATIONS
AUTHORITY
INDULGENCE
"IT IS NOT SAFE"
THE LESSON IN OBEDIENCE
ROUNDABOUT INSTRUCTION
AFRAID OF THE COW
THE INTENTION GOOD
THE IMAGINATIVE FACULTY
STORY OF THE HORSE
"MOTHER, WHAT MAKES IT SNOW?"
THE RUNAWAY
THE FIRST INSTINCT

GENTLE MEASURES.



CHAPTER I.
THE THREE MODES OF MANAGEMENT.
It is not impossible that in the minds of some persons the idea of employing gentle measures in the management and training of children may seem to imply the abandonment of the principle of authority, as the basis of the parental government, and the substitution of some weak and inefficient system of artifice and manoeuvring in its place. To suppose that the object of this work is to aid in effecting such a substitution as that, is entirely to mistake its nature and design. The only government of the parent over the child that is worthy of the name is one of authority--complete, absolute, unquestioned authority. The object of this work is, accordingly, not to show how the gentle methods which will be brought to view can be employed as a substitute for such authority, but how they can be made to aid in establishing and maintaining it.
Three Methods.
There are three different modes of management customarily employed by parents as means of inducing their children to comply with their requirements. They are,
1. Government by Manoeuvring and Artifice.
2. By Reason and Affection.
3. By Authority.
Manoeuvring and Artifice.
1. Many mothers manage their children by means of tricks and contrivances, more or less adroit, designed to avoid direct issues with them, and to beguile them, as it were, into compliance with their wishes. As, for example, where a mother, recovering from sickness, is going out to take the air with her husband for the first time, and--as she is still feeble--wishes for a very quiet drive, and so concludes not to take little Mary with her, as she usually does on such occasions; but knowing that if Mary sees the chaise at the door, and discovers that her father and mother are going in it, she will be very eager to go too, she adopts a system of manoeuvres to conceal her design. She brings down her bonnet and shawl by stealth, and before the chaise comes to the door she sends Mary out into the garden with her sister, under pretense of showing her a bird's nest which is not there, trusting to her sister's skill in diverting the child's mind, and amusing her with something else in the garden, until the chaise has gone. And if, either from hearing the sound of the wheels, or from any other cause, Mary's suspicions are awakened--and children habitually managed on these principles soon learn to be extremely distrustful and suspicious--and she insists on going into the house, and thus discovers the stratagem, then, perhaps, her mother tells her that they are only going to the doctor's, and that if Mary goes with them, the doctor will give her some dreadful medicine, and compel her to take it,