Frank Fairlegh | Page 9

believe us,--it is really a most unheard-of
thing,--but we have lately missed a great many of our clothes, and we
have every reason to suspect (I declare I can scarcely bear to mention it)
that Mildman takes them himself, fancying, of course, that, placed by
his position so entirely above suspicion, he may do it with impunity.
We have suspected this for some time; and lately one or two

circumstances--old clothesmen having been observed leaving his study,
a pawn-ticket falling out of his waistcoat pocket one day as he went out
of our parlour, etc.--have put the matter beyond a doubt; but he has
never gone to such an extent as this before. Mind you don't mention a
word of this to Thomas, for, bad as ~15~~Mildman is, one would not
wish to show him up before his own servant."
"Good gracious!" cried I, "but you are joking, it never can be really
true!" Reading, however, in the solemn, not to say distressed,
expression of their faces indisputable evidence of the reality of the
accusation, I continued: "I had no idea such things ever could take
place, and he a clergyman, too!--dreadful! but what in the world am I to
do? I have not got a pair of trousers to put on. Oh! if he would but have
taken anything else, even my watch instead, I should not have
minded--what shall I do?"
"Why really," replied Coleman, "it is not so easy to advise: you can't go
down as you are, that's certain. Suppose you were to wrap yourself up
in a blanket, and go and tell him you have found him out, and that you
will call a policeman if he does not give you your clothes instantly;
have it out with him fairly, and check the thing effectually once for
all--eh?"
"No, that won't do," said Lawless. "I should say, sit down quietly (how
cold you must be!) and write him a civil note, saying, that you had
reason to believe he had borrowed your trousers (that's the way I should
put it), and that you would be very much gratified by his lending you a
pair to wear to-day; and then you can stick in something about your
having been always accustomed to live with people who were very
particular in regard to dress, and that you are sorry you are obliged to
trouble him for such a trifle; in fact, do a bit of the respectful, and then
pull up short with 'obedient pupil,' etc."
"Ay, that's the way to do it," said Coleman, "in the shop-fellow's style,
you know--much obliged for past favours, and hope for a continuance
of the same--more than you do, though, Fairlegh, I should fancy; but
there goes the bell--I am off," and away he scudded, followed by
Lawless humming:--

"Brian O'Lynn had no breeches to wear, So he took an old catskin, and
made him a pair."
Here was a pretty state of things: the breakfast bell had rung, and I,
who considered being too late a crime of the first magnitude, was
unable even to begin dressing from the melancholy fact that every pair
of trousers I possessed in the world had disappeared; while, to complete
my misery, I was led to believe the delinquent who had abstracted them
was no less a person than the tutor, whom I had come fully prepared to
regard with feelings of the utmost respect and veneration.
~16~~However, in such a situation, thinking over my miseries was
worse than useless; something must be done at once--but what? Write
the note as Lawless had advised? No, it was useless to think of that; I
felt I could not do it. "Ah! a bright idea!--I'll try it." So, suiting the
action to the word, I rang the bell, and then jumping into bed muffled
myself up in the bedclothes.
"Well, sir, have you found them?" asked Thomas, entering.
"No, Thomas," replied I dolefully, "nor ever shall, I fear; but will you
go to 'Dr. Mildman, and tell him, with my respects, that I cannot get up
to breakfast this morning, and, if he asks what is the matter with me,
say that I am prevented from coming down by severe cold. I am sure
that is true enough," added I, shivering.
"Well, sir, I will, if you wish it; but I don't exactly see the good of it;
you must get up some time or other."
"I don't know," replied I gloomily, "we shall see; only do you take my
message."
And he accordingly left the room, muttering as he did so, "Well, I calls
this a great deal too bad, and I'll tell master of it myself, if nobody else
won't".
"Tell master of it himself!"--he also suspected him then. This crushed
my last faint hope