Crankisms | Page 3

know what a real woman is like--he so rarely sees one.
70
The Chinese promise and never intend to perform; we promise and do intend to perform.
The result is about the same.
71
Woman regards the criticizing of her sex as her own prerogative, and criticizes more bitterly than any man would think of doing; but she resents any criticism, no matter how just, from man.
72
Lambs, it is true, gambol, but in due time they all get fleeced.
73
What we need is some philosopher to tell us how to be happy when we have every reason for being unhappy.
74
The most striking trait of the average man is unwillingness to be convinced--that we are right and he is wrong.
75
If man were so constituted that he could pat himself on the back gracefully, or kick himself effectively, he would spend most of his spare time doing one or the other.
76
Most of us live as if we expected to be judged from our epitaph rather than from our conduct.
77
The world is a paradise for fools, a purgatory or worse for others.
78
When we have the capacity of enjoying we have not the reason for enjoyment; when we do have good and sufficient grounds we no longer have the capacity.
79
To be happy, give; to be successful, take; to be happy and successful, give and take.
80
What a woman admires in a man depends on whether she is married or single.
81
Confidence given is usually confidence misplaced.
82
Women admire the gilded youth because he is a golden calf.
83
Even those who do not repeat scandal are generally willing to listen to it. Talk of the virtues of another, and, as a rule, your hearers will get bored; only hint that you could a tale unfold and you will secure perfect attention.
84
We forget that once upon a time we were little children; but the unpleasant fact that we are big children is being constantly forced upon us, together with the moral certainty that we shall never be anything else.
85
A man considers his little weaknesses amiable traits; a woman--a woman will not admit that she has a weakness.
86
God's call, through the still small voice, to preach, is much more irresistible when megaphoned by a wealthy church.
87
Many who sing loud praises to God, pay heavy tribute to the devil.
88
If the world is, as is so often whined, growing worse, it is partly because of our presence in it.
89
The counsel of a good book is far superior to that of a man who says one thing and does another.
90
If other people would only be as reasonable as we are, what a heaven this earth would be.
91
The world has no sympathy for the gambler who loses.
92
Trust in God, but keep a sharp lookout on your friends.
93
Tell the truth and you will shame the devil; you will also surprise him very often.
94
The knowledge that virtue is its own reward is what deters many from well doing.
95
It requires no particular skill to win the game when Fortune has dealt you all the trumps.
96
We give much more thought to what is due to us than to what is due from us.
97
A camel may not be able to pass through the eye of a needle, but that does not deter many a lobster from trying to do so.
98
The man who sees things as they are is regarded as a madman, just as those were formerly looked upon who maintained that the earth was round. The average man sees things as they seem to be.
99
We are all convinced of the righteousness and reasonableness of majority rule--when we happen to belong to the majority.
100
The greater his trouble, the more a man hugs it to his heart.
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