Clarissa, Volume 9 | Page 5

to join him in the executorship with me; and to me, for the
trouble she had given, and yet should give me.
She had fatigued herself so much, (growing sensibly weaker) that she
sunk her head upon her pillows, ready to faint; and we withdrew to the
window, looking upon one another; but could not tell what to say; and
yet both seemed inclinable to speak: but the motion passed over in
silence. Our eyes only spoke; and that in a manner neither's were used
to--mine, at least, not till I knew this admirable creature.
The Colonel withdrew to dismiss his messenger, and send away the
letter to Mrs. Norton. I took the opportunity to retire likewise; and to
write thus far. And Joel returning to take it, I now close here.
ELEVEN O'CLOCK.

LETTER II
MR. BELFORD [IN CONTINUATION.]
The Colonel tells me that he had written to Mr. John Harlowe, by his
servant, 'That they might spare themselves the trouble of debating
about a reconciliation; for that his dear cousin would probably be no
more before they could resolve.'
He asked me after his cousin's means of subsisting; and whether she
had accepted of any favour from me; he was sure, he said, she would
not from you.
I acquainted him with the truth of her parting with some of her apparel.
This wrung his heart; and bitterly did he exclaim as well against you as
against her implacable relations.
He wished he had not come to England at all, or had come sooner; and
hoped I would apprize him of the whole mournful story, at a proper
season. He added, that he had thoughts, when he came over, of fixing
here for the remainder of his days; but now, as it was impossible his
cousin could recover, he would go abroad again, and re-settle himself at
Florence or Leghorn.
The lady has been giving orders, with great presence of mind, about her
body! directing her nurse and the maid of the house to put her in the
coffin as soon as she is cold. Mr. Belford, she said, would know the rest
by her will.
***
She has just now given from her bosom, where she always wore it, a

miniature picture, set in gold, of Miss Howe. She gave it to Mrs.
Lovick, desiring her to fold it up in white paper, and direct it, To
Charles Hickman, Esq. and to give it to me, when she was departed, for
that gentleman.
She looked upon the picture, before she gave it her--Sweet and
ever-amiable friend!--Companion!--Sister!--Lover! said she--and
kissed it four several times, once at each tender appellation.
***
Your other servant is come.--Well may you be impatient!--Well may
you! --But do you think I can leave off, in the middle of a conversation,
to run and set down what offers, and send it away piece-meal as I write?
--If I could, must I not lose one half, while I put down the other?
This event is nearly as interesting to me as it is to you. If you are more
grieved than I, there can be but one reason for it; and that's at your
heart!--I had rather lose all the friends I have in the world, (yourself in
the number,) than this divine lady; and shall be unhappy whenever I
think of her sufferings, and of her merit; though I have nothing to
reproach myself by reason of the former.
I say not this, just now, so much to reflect upon you as to express my
own grief; though your conscience I suppose, will make you think
otherwise.
Your poor fellow, who says that he begs for his life, in desiring to be
dispatched back with a letter, tears this from me--else, perhaps, (for I
am just sent for down,) a quarter of an hour would make you--not easy
indeed--but certain--and that, in a state like your's, to a mind like your's,
is a relief.
THURSDAY AFTERNOON, FOUR O'CLOCK.

LETTER III
MR. BELFORD, TO RICHARD MOWBRAY, ESQ. THURSDAY
AFTERNOON.
DEAR MOWBRAY,
I am glad to hear you are in town. Throw yourself the moment this
comes to your hand, (if possible with Tourville,) in the way of the man
who least of all men deserves the love of the worthy heart; but most
that of thine and Tourville; else the news I shall most probably send
him within an hour or two, will make annihilation the greatest blessing

he has to wish for.
You will find him between Piccadilly and Kensington, most probably
on horseback, riding backwards and forwards in a crazy way; or put up,
perhaps, at some inn or tavern in the way--a waiter possibly, if so,
watching for his servant's return to him from me.
***
His man Will. is just come