Ballads of a Bohemian | Page 8

And I'd drowse and dream by the driftwood
gleam; I'd dream of a polar bear; I'd dream of a cloudlike polar bear
that blotted the stars on high, With ravenous jaws and flenzing claws,
and the flames of hell in his eye. And I'd trap around on the frozen
ground, as a proper hunter ought, And beasts I'd find of every kind, but
never the one I sought. Never a track in the white ice-pack that humped
and heaved and flawed, Till I came to think: "Why, strike me pink! if
the creature ain't a fraud." And then one night in the waning light, as I
hurried home to sup, I hears a roar by the cabin door, and a great white
hulk heaves up. So my rifle flashed, and a bullet crashed; dead, dead as

a stone fell he, And I gave a cheer, for there in his ear -- Gosh ding me!
-- a tiny flea.
At last, at last! Oh, I clutched it fast, and I gazed on it with pride; And I
thrust it into a biscuit-tin, and I shut it safe inside; With a lid of glass
for the light to pass, and space to leap and play; Oh, it kept alive; yea,
seemed to thrive, as I watched it night and day. And I used to sit and
sing to it, and I shielded it from harm, And many a hearty feed it had on
the heft of my hairy arm.
For you'll never know in that land of snow
how lonesome a man can feel; So I made a fuss of the little cuss, and I
christened it "Lucille". But the longest winter has its end, and the ice
went out to sea, And I saw one day a ship in the bay, and there was the
~Nancy Lee~. So a boat was lowered and I went aboard, and they
opened wide their eyes -- Yes, they gave a cheer when the truth was
clear,
and they saw my precious prize.
And then it was all like a
giddy dream; but to cut my story short, We sailed away on the fifth of
May to the foreign Prince's court; To a palmy land and a palace grand,
and the little Prince was there, And a fat Princess in a satin dress with a
crown of gold on her hair. And they showed me into a shiny room, just
him and her and me, And the Prince he was pleased and friendly-like,

and he calls for drinks for three.
And I shows them my battered
biscuit-tin, and I makes my modest spiel, And they laughed, they did,
when I opened the lid,
and out there popped Lucille.
Oh, the Prince was glad, I could soon see that, and the Princess she was
too; And Lucille waltzed round on the tablecloth as she often used to
do. And the Prince pulled out a purse of gold, and he put it in my hand;
And he says: "It was worth all that, I'm told, to stay in that nasty land."
And then he turned with a sudden cry, and he clutched at his royal
beard; And the Princess screamed, and well she might -- for Lucille had
disappeared.
"She must be here," said his Noble Nibbs, so we hunted all around; Oh,
we searched that place, but never a trace of the little beast we found. So
I shook my head, and I glumly said: "Gol darn the saucy cuss! It's
mighty queer, but she isn't here; so . . . she must be on one of us. You'll
pardon me if I make so free, but -- there's just one thing to do: If you'll

kindly go for a half a mo' I'll search me garments through." Then all
alone on the shiny throne I stripped from head to heel; In vain, in vain;
it was very plain that I hadn't got Lucille. So I garbed again, and I told
the Prince, and he scratched his august head; "I suppose if she hasn't
selected you, it must be me," he said. So ~he~ retired; but he soon came
back, and his features showed distress: "Oh, it isn't you and it isn't
me." . . . Then we looked at the Princess. So ~she~ retired; and we
heard a scream, and she opened wide the door; And her fingers twain
were pinched to pain, but a radiant smile she wore: "It's here," she cries,
"our precious prize.
Oh, I found it right away. . . ."
Then I ran to her
with a shout of joy, but I choked with a wild dismay. I clutched the
back of the golden throne, and the room began to reel . . . What she
held to me was, ah yes! a flea, but . . . ~it wasn't