Any Coincidence Is | Page 9

drag!"
Julia, heretofore holding her breath, exhaled in relief and passed
another cigarette and the lighter into Rhonda's hand hovering under the
partition.
"I thought you were Farthead looking into the restroom again," Julia
said.
Julia heard Rhonda inhale and exhale in rhythmic, sage-like fashion.
"No," Rhonda finally answered, "somebody said he called in sick."
Rhonda's hand appeared under the stall again holding the lighter. Julia
took it from her as they both heard a man's voice from outside the door.
"Rhonda? Julia?"
"That ain't Farthead!" whispered Rhonda. Both toilets flushed, as if
their unison action would suddenly provide an air-tight alibi which,
notwithstanding the stern tone in the voice outside, caused them both to
giggle. They emerged sheepishly from the restroom as Supervising
Manager Denny frowned and shook his head disapprovingly.
"Rhonda, where's Kurt?"
"Sick, I think. Someone said he called in with a stomach ache."
"Then he's fired too."
"Too?!" exclaimed Julia.
"Well, let's see, Julia. You missed your shift yesterday without calling
in..."
"I did?"
"You did. And that's the third time this month."
"I can't believe I did it again!"
"You did. And you don't have to tell me which novel you were reading.
I don't need to know." He turned to Rhonda. "And I figure if you leave
now, we won't need to talk about the beauty supplies that go missing
just before your days off."
Rhonda's eyes widened uncontrollably as she gave a guilty grin to the
floor tiles.
"So, adios!" With that, he returned to the Osco floor.
Julia's jaw slackened but Rhonda pealed into outright laughter.
"It's not funny!" shouted Julia.

"Oh, forget this Popsicle-stand! You punched in right?"
A smile formed reluctantly on Julia's face. "Well," continued Rhonda,
"let's go see a flick and punch ourselves out in eight hours!"
The smiles and laughter became contagious as they grabbed their
jackets and ran out the back door. The spent the rest of the afternoon
taking in all of the shops that lined both sides of the street. Eventually,
they found themselves at Popeye's pub, where they had a sandwich and
a few beers, and decided to kill the rest of the evening with a movie.
After a short walk, they saw the marquee, which read: "BRIDE,
GHOULS, & PLAN 9!" Rhonda seemed to have noticed it first, taking
Julia's hand and leading her toward the theatre.

10. The Second Phase "There was a point to this story, but it has
temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind." - Douglas Adams, So Long,
and Thanks for All the Fish
"Well done!" the Lab Coat Man exclaimed, rubbing his eyes and
replacing the pen in his coat pocket, "Very well done! Not many
subjects have been able to answer our comprehensive questionnaire in
under three hours."
Prof. Sigger forced a smile to his drawn face. "I take it most people are
reluctant to answer your questions without knowing how and why they
arrived in a place like this." The room, like the holding area, was also
concrete, although this section looked more like an office than a jail.
"That long haired fellow," the Lab Coat Man confided, "we pulled him
out of a urinal. Dirty trick, really. Maybe he thinks we're all
drug-induced hallucinations. As far as he's concerned, he was leaning
against the bathroom wall in order not to stain his shoes and the next
moment he's peeing in our corner."
Sigger tried to nod sympathetically.
"Hasn't completed the interview yet," he continued. "Oh that doesn't
mean I haven't been able to take a few notes, but I guarantee he'll be
missing out on the entertainment for some time to come!"
"Now that I've answered your questions, let me ask you -" Prof. Sigger
began.
"No time. I have a number of errands to run. You'll find we're quite
organized, once you've been here a while."
"A while?"

"Yes, this may take some time. All good projects do, as I'm sure you
understand." Sigger nodded dumbly.
"Now I'm going to turn you over to my assistant, Neoldner."
The door opened, and twenty year-old resembling a ferret and wearing
an identical lab coat entered, a clipboard in his hand.
"He's going to help with the second phase," the Lab Coat Man said.
"Hey," Neoldner said.
"Um... yes," Sigger replied.
Neoldner took the seat across from Sigger as the Lab Coat Man moved
to the doorway. Forrester, with his strange brown mustache, popped his
head into the room.
"I'm going home to finish to schedule for tomorrow this evening. Do
you have everything?" Forrester asked.
"How could I? You haven't told me what I need yet," the Lab Coat Man
replied.
"I haven't?"
"No, I've been with Prof. Sigger since..." He looked at his watch. "It
has been a while, hasn't it?"
Prof. Sigger shrugged, although no