Annajanska, the Bolshevik Empress | Page 9

been taught to strip yourself half naked
and turn head over heels--
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Man, I WANTED to get rid of my
swaddling clothes and turn head over heels. I wanted to, I wanted to, I
wanted to. I can do it still. Shall I do it now?
STRAMMFEST. If you do, I swear I will throw myself from the
window so that I may meet your parents in heaven without having my
medals torn from my breast by them.
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, you are incorrigible. You are mad,
infatuated. You will not believe that we royal divinities are mere
common flesh and blood even when we step down from our pedestals
and tell you ourselves what a fool you are. I will argue no more with
you: I will use my power. At a word from me your men will turn
against you: already half of them do not salute you; and you dare not
punish them: you have to pretend not to notice it.
STRAMMFEST. It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so.
THE GRAND DUCHESS. [haughtily]. Taunt! I condescend to taunt!

To taunt a common General! You forget yourself, sir.
STRAMMFEST [dropping on his knee submissively]. Now at last you
speak like your royal self.
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Oh, Strammfest, Strammfest, they have
driven your slavery into your very bones. Why did you not spit in my
face?.
STRAMMFEST [rising with a shudder]. God forbid!
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Well, since you will be my slave, take your
orders from me. I have not come here to save our wretched family and
our bloodstained crown. I am come to save the Revolution.
STRAMMFEST. Stupid as I am, I have come to think that I had better
save that than save nothing. But what will the Revolution do for the
people? Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the revolutionary
leaders and the pamphlets of the revolutionary writers. How much
liberty is there where they have gained the upper hand? Are they not
hanging, shooting, imprisoning as much as ever we did? Do they ever
tell the people the truth? No: if the truth does not suit them they spread
lies instead, and make it a crime to tell the truth.
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Of course they do. Why should they not?
STRAMMFEST [hardly able to believe his ears]. Why should they
not?
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes: why should they not? We did it. You
did it, whip in hand: you flogged women for teaching children to read.
STRAMMFEST. To read sedition. To read Karl Marx.
THP GRAND DUCHESS. Pshaw! How could they learn to read the
Bible without learning to read Karl Marx? Why do you not stand to
your guns and justify what you did, instead of making silly excuses?
Do you suppose I think flogging a woman worse than flogging a man?
I, who am a woman myself!
STRAMMFEST. I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness.
You seem to me to contradict yourself.
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Nonsense! I say that if the people cannot
govern themselves, they must be governed by somebody. If they will
not do their duty without being half forced and half humbugged,
somebody must force them and humbug them. Some energetic and
capable minority must always be in power. Well, I am on the side of
the energetic minority whose principles I agree with. The Revolution is

as cruel as we were; but its aims are my aims. Therefore I stand for the
Revolution.
STRAMMFEST. You do not know what you are saying. This is pure
Bolshevism. Are you, the daughter of a Panjandrum, a Bolshevist?
THE GRAND DUCHESS. I am anything that will make the world less
like a prison and more like a circus.
STRAMMFEST. Ah! You still want to be a circus star.
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, and be billed as the Bolshevik
Empress. Nothing shall stop me. You have your orders, General
Strammfest: save the Revolution.
STRAMMFEST. What Revolution? Which Revolution? No two of
your rabble of revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution
What can save a mob in which every man is rushing in a different
direction?
THE GRAND DUCHESS. I will tell you. The war can save it.
STRAMMFEST. The war?
THE GRAND DUCHESS. Yes, the war. Only a great common danger
and a great common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling
factions into a solid commonwealth.
STRAMMFEST. Bravo! War sets everything right: I have always said
so. But what is a united people without a united army? And what can I
do? I am only a soldier. I cannot make speeches: I have won no
victories: they will not rally to my call [again he sinks into his chair
with